Climbing the Mountain

Happy Holy Days

2010-01-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

Summer Reading

2009-06-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone has been wondering why I haven’t posted on this blog in over 18 months, I’ve been focusing on another project – writing a book, actually. I’m working on the final chapter now; then there are just a few small holes to patch and the final editing. The end is in sight. My plan was to finish the book before picking up blogging, but the Spirit has prompted me…

Summer is here, the kids are out of school and people are looking forward to vacations – fun in the sun, and maybe relaxing with a good book. My friend Laura recently mentioned Stephen King’s recommended summer reading list. No doubt, lots of people will be reading and talking about the books on his list, and I’m sure they’re all entertaining reads.

But in addition to all the fun and fantasy, why not include a few choices that will feed our souls? Maybe you’re thinking, “Borrringgg…” Not necessarily. And on that note, I’d like to offer Darrell’s counter-cultural summer reading list (Christian culture as opposed to popular culture): seven interesting selections with substance.

Between Heaven and Hell
Peter Kreeft
One of four fiction titles in this list, this book is based on a very interesting fact: on November 22, 1963, three famous men – C. S. Lewis, John F. Kennedy and Aldous Huxley – all died within a few hours of each other. Kreeft imagines their conversation when the three meet up in Purgatory. Very entertaining and at the same time profound. I loved this book!

MOTHER TERESA: Come Be My Light
Edited and with commentary by Brian Kolodiejchuk
The personal letters of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta provide an intimate look at one of the most widely known disciples of our time. Each of us is a called to respond to the grace of God, but for most of us, He gives us a lot of freedom in deciding how we will serve Him as individuals. But a chosen few are called in a very specific and unmistakable way. The writings of Mother Teresa reveal the private struggles of a little woman from Yugoslavia who became the “Saint of Calcutta.”

Three Philosophies of Life
Peter Kreeft
The only writer to make this list twice, I confess he’s my favorite author. I’ve never had any formal education in philosophy, but having read over a half-dozen of Peter Kreeft’s books is probably better. Dr. Kreeft, a professor of philosophy at Boston College, calls Ecclesiastes, Job, and Song of Songs “the most profound books of philosophy I’ve ever read.” He reveals that in these three books, we have a great epic played out in our hearts and lives, and an “essential summary of the spiritual history of the world.” These books explore the most important questions we can ask: What is life under the sun for? Why must we suffer? And it reveals the final answer. It’s a short book, only 140 pages, but profound, and I highly recommend it.

The previous three selections are books I have read and recommend. These next four titles are the books I myself plan on reading this summer.

The Death of a Pope
Piers Paul Read
This newly released book looks to be a really good political thriller.
“Piers Paul Read has managed to combine sheer storytelling power with great learning and insight about the inner workings of the Church to fashion an entertainment of the highest order. If John le Carre took on Vatican politics, his book of suspense might aspire to be much like this one.”
--Ron Hansen

“If you love the Catholic Church, you will probably love this book whether or not you love a good story. If you love a good story, you will probably love this book whether or not you love the Catholic Church. But if you love both the Church and a good story, you will certainly love this book.”
--Peter Kreeft

MONSIGNOR QUIXOTE
Graham Greene
Based on Cervantes’ classic Don Quixote, two friends tilt at modern-day windmills. I’ve read one other book by Greene, The Power and the Glory, about a hunted priest in Mexico: it was interesting, but, at times, I struggled not to put the book down; however the ending was incredible, inspiring and well worth it. I decided to consider Monsignor Quixote based solely on this recommendation: a Spanish priest and the local Communist “take off on a road trip into idealism (for they are both idealists) and, at the end, find something like revelation.” I read the first two pages of the book on-line and was laughing out loud.

Our Lady of Kibeho
Immaculée Ilibagiza
In 1994, a bloody genocide left more than a million dead in Rwanda, Africa. In Left To Tell, Immaculée shared how she and seven other women survived by hiding together in a cramped bathroom for 91 terrifying days! Thirteen years earlier in 1981, the Blessed Virgin Mary began appearing to a group of children in Kibeho, Rwanda with messages of a looming holocaust, which could be averted if the people of Rwanda would only open their hearts to the love of God. In Our Lady of Kibeho, Immaculee tells the story of Our Lady’s apparitions to the young visionaries – the only Vatican approved apparitions in Africa. My friend Sue recommended this book to me: “I could not put the book down…you’ll love it.”

Out of the Silent Planet
C.S. Lewis
There was a period as a young man when I was very into science fiction; I read hundreds of books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Robert A. Heinlein, Piers Anthony and others. Now I find out that one of the most influential Christian writers of the twentieth century also wrote science fiction! As a boy, I loved C.S. Lewis’s fantasy series The Narnia Chronicles, and I loved reading them again as an adult: tales of four children transported to a world of fauns, centaurs and talking beasts, laced with insights into truth. Out of the Silent Planet is the first book in Lewis’s The Space Trilogy. Recommended by a friend: “In addition to telling a good story, Lewis finds time to shed light on all sorts of issues about God and morality.” Another wrote, “Lewis also has a gift for making strong points in his novel (about Christianity in particular) without making the reader feel guilty, because he uses such human characters that are filled with normal and relatable flaws.”

Be Prepared

2007-12-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

“Be prepared” is the Boy Scout motto, but this past week these words have taken on a whole new meaning for me.

I went on a much needed retreat this past weekend, and it was wonderful, a very powerful experience. There’s a lot of turmoil in the world right now with ongoing armed conflicts in various regions of the world and the ever-present threat of global terrorism. Here in the United States of America, we are fast approaching an election year, and there’s a lot of concern about who will take the reigns of the executive chair and which direction they will attempt to steer our country, and where this will take us. Will we cling tenuously to the ideals of our founding fathers? Or will we go the way of the European Union and reject our Christian heritage?

There seems to be a lot of turmoil and conflict in our personal lives as well. One incident left my heart troubled and wondering how to respond (or even if I should).

So when I met up with my friend Pat last Friday afternoon, I told her, “I really need this retreat.” As we were getting ready to leave, rain started to fall, the first significant rain in many, many months here in the Arizona desert, a real drencher, and it seemed to me that this first major storm of the season was a reflection of a very real spiritual storm in the world. Pat and I left the valley and drove through the rain up the mountain to the Shrine of St. Joseph.

Upon arriving in Yarnel, we were surprised to find that the little barbecue restaurant where it had become tradition for us to have dinner had gone out of business. Another reminder that everything in this earthly life comes to an end…

This retreat was basically a gathering of a core group of friends, old and new, who have worked in a couple of ministries together. We talked and we shared, laughed and cried, and we prayed. Friday night, as the storm raged outside, we each of us shared what was going on in our lives. Some have been struggling with various trials, such as grief or adjusting to being newly single; others were worried about the economy, the real estate market or their jobs; some have been away from ministry for a while working on personal goals, and a couple of individuals shared how they didn’t like their own recent behavior or the people they were becoming. And a few of us related how we were in a really good place at the moment; our lives were hardly perfect—there were still trials, struggles and even turmoil, but that was OK: we had our faith. Even if we were to lose everything tomorrow… So what? God is in His Heaven, and He loves us and forgives us our sins if we truly repent in our hearts. And He prepares a place for us.

When we arose on Saturday morning, the storm had passed; but a dense fog hung in the air, and we could not see the mountain top. Pat told us the Native American tale of Two Wolves:

A Cherokee was talking with his grandson. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil and ugly: he is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, selfishness and arrogance. The other wolf is beautiful and good: he is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person as well."
The grandson paused in deep reflection, and then asked, "Which wolf will win?"
The grandfather replied, "The one you feed."

Pat also read from the transcript of a presentation on the fruits of the Spirit of the Father, given by The Preacher to the Pope, Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa:

The second fruit of this year of the spirit of the Father should be to accept each other as brothers and sisters; to reconcile between us; to accept us as brothers and sisters. There is one thing you should never do with a father or a mother and this is to ask from them to make a choice—to side with one son against the other; this you cannot ask from a father. Do you? It’s a cruel choice. You can’t say I thought you were with me or with my brother. We won’t stay together. This is terrible—terrible. And this is what we very often say maybe implicitly to God the Father to make a choice, to side with somebody—either me or my brothers. We must reconcile, accept each other, especially those we would rather keep away from our life. We could make no better offer than to reconcile with somebody, with whom we have a bad relation. And right now we can decide to reconcile. This reconciliation must take place within the family between husband and wife, parents and children. It must take place in the community…

We went together to the vigil Mass for the First Sunday of Advent, the season of joyous expectation, a season of preparation. In the Gospel reading, Jesus tells us we must “be prepared”. The priest spoke of death and the “Three Grants”: Grant that we do not die in mortal sin; grant that we are able to fulfill our mission in life; and grant that our death is not too much of a burden on others. This spoke very powerfully to me. Only a few years ago, I was in such grief that I didn’t ever think I would find joy again. But God filled the hole in my heart. He gave to my family a beautiful daughter, and He’s brought so many wonderful people into my life, fellow disciples. I am ready to go to eternity whenever God calls me, but now I have a sense that I have a mission to fulfill. God grant that I am able to fulfill it. We all can know this: if we are still here on this earth, God has work for us to do. We each of us can ask ourselves, “What is my mission in this life? What gifts has He given me? How can I use my gifts to serve God?” God is so good and generous, and He has given me gifts that I love.

I think by the end of the retreat, we all of us agreed that we need to be answering our call to evangelize, to be actively working in ministry. I believe we all realized that if we’re not continuing to pursue our mission in this life, it’s very easy to begin falling away.

On Sunday morning, we arose to clear skies and sunshine. For our final exercise, we each of us went off alone to sit and listen for what God had to say to us individually. I found a rock on top of a hill, and I sat and listened. The air was perfectly still, and I listened to the silence. From over the hill, an eagle or large hawk soared across the sky, and he never once flapped his wings. Then I felt Jesus speak to my heart:

Darrell,
I want you to think of all the gifts I have given you—the graces, the wonders I have shown you, all the fellow apostles I have brought into your life, this great communion of saints you are part of. I want you to reflect on all these things and store them up in your heart. And whenever you may become weary or the road may seem too difficult, you will remember all these things, and you will know that I am with you. You will remember where you have been, and where I have brought you, and you can trust that My grace will be sufficient for you.
Jesus

Thy Kingdom Come

2007-08-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

The Church teaches that God gives freedom to every person He creates: the freedom to choose and to act, the freedom to decide how we want to live our lives. When Jesus, the Word Made Flesh walked this Earth, He talked a lot about our choices and the ways of this world and of His Kingdom, and how we should live if we want to follow Him. We see this in today’s Gospel reading:

When they came to Capernaum, the collectors of the temple tax approached Peter and said, “Does not your teacher pay the temple tax?”“Yes,” he said.When he came into the house, before he had time to speak, Jesus asked him,
“What is your opinion, Simon? From whom do the kings of the earth take tolls or census tax? From their subjects or from foreigners?”When he said, “From foreigners,” Jesus said to him,“Then the subjects are exempt. But that we may not offend them, go to the sea, drop in a hook, and take the first fish that comes up. Open its mouth and you will find a coin worth twice the temple tax. Give that to them for me and for you.”
--Matthew 17: 24-27

The first thing we read is that the tax collectors come to Peter. And what do they want? Money. This is the nature of this fallen world we live in: it costs to live; as a result of the choice of our first parents, we must work to survive – by our sweat we get bread to eat.

It’s very interesting that Jesus calls the tax collectors “the kings of the earth.” The kingdom of this world is money, material things, wealth, power and fame – things that do not last. Jesus tells us that His Kingdom is not of this world. This Earth is not our home; our home is in eternity. We are “foreigners” here, aliens and visitors – we are not subjects of the “kings of this earth.” Even though the Christian way is not the way of a selfish and materialistic society, we have to live in this world, to work and make our way, and Jesus tells us not to offend. And this is the struggle, the challenge we face: not to accept the ways of this world, but to live in it, following the ways of our King, Christ Jesus.

Also, we see that Jesus Himself provides the way to pay the tax. God provides. Although Jesus could have produced the payment Himself; instead He told Simon Peter to go and catch a fish. Why? Well, Peter was a fisherman; that was the way he made his living. God provides the way; we do the work. Finally, the coin was enough for their payment, nothing more, and I think that’s what we can count on: God will provide for us what we need.

THE KINGDOM OF STUFF
By Andrew Costello
Most of us are citizens of the Kingdom of Stuff.
We’re overloaded: our wires, our clothes, our closets, our stomachs, our lives.
There are so many plugs, so many wires in our outlets, that we always pull out the wrong one when we want to bring the portable TV into the kitchen for supper.
We don’t want to miss anything. We want to have everything.
Our suitcases won’t close, so we go out and buy bigger ones, and then we build bigger airplanes.
We dash around in the Kingdom of Stuff, driving full speed ahead, wasting time, wasting fuel, wasting our lives, looking for the latest gadgets, the latest stuff.
We don’t know how to cut, to reduce the budget, to trim the fat out of our lives.
No wonder we can’t get through the eye of the needle. No wonder we don’t know anything about the Kingdom of God, about the prayer and service. No wonder we don’t believe that there is a vast sky of possibilities on the other side of the needle.
We can’t fix it.
We refuse to sell what we have and give it to the poor. No, we keep speeding down our eight lane highway, playing our stereos, playing our song,
“Happy are the rich, the Kingdom of Stuff is theirs.”
God emptied himself. He gave up everything to come through the eye of the needle, to come into the Kingdom of Stuff.
He walked around telling people to empty their lives, empty their suitcases, in fact get rid of them “no traveling bags,” and began walking the narrow road through the eye of the needle into the Kingdom of God.
--Meditations for Everyone

Dear children! I am your Mother and I invite you to come closer to God through prayer because only He is your peace, your savior. Therefore, little children, do not seek comfort in material things, but rather seek God. I am praying for you and I intercede before God for each individual. I am looking for your prayers that you accept me and accept my messages as in the first days of the apparitions and only then when you open your hearts and pray will miracles happen. Thank you for having responded to my call.
--Our Lady of Medjugorje, September 25, 1993

Gifts

2007-07-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

It’s summer in the Arizona desert, and the temperature officially hit 115 yesterday. The sun was setting as I was leaving work, and as I walked out of the air conditioned hospital, the air was burning the skin of my face and my ears. It’s hot.

Took my usual route for my walk this morning and already it was getting hot. About two miles into it, I hit a stretch where the sprinklers were going. A gentle breeze blew across the path, and I stepped into a beautiful cool mist. It felt really wonderful, and I decided to stand there and cool down for a minute; but after only a few seconds, the sprinklers shut off! I had to chuckle to myself.

God is good to have given me that gift of coolness, a little respite from the heat, but I guess He didn’t put us here to be idle. There’s work to be done. I continued on my walk.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me a little relief from the heat. Thank you, that I woke this morning with a song of praise in my heart. Thank you, Lord, for your Creation, for the blue sky and white clouds, for the grass and trees and the little hummingbirds I saw on my walk today. Thank you, also, for the fly that pestered me briefly and the cloud of gnats I walked through, for these things remind us of the nature of this fallen world, lest we forget. Thank you, for the grace to recognize your speaking to me in all these things. Thank you, for the strong legs you have given me that I am even able to walk. Thank you, Lord, for the understanding you give me. Thank you, Lord, for never ceasing to call to me, and thank you, for the grace to seek you and the grace to answer you. Thank you, for my wife and my beautiful children and my friends and everyone you have placed in my path, that we may all walk together, helping each other along. Thank you, my Lord and my God, that you made me to know you, to love you and serve you in this world, and to be happy with you forever in the next. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Struggle

2007-06-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

On my walk the other morning, I was going along an irrigation canal at one point and spotted a mother duck with three little ducklings. The mother duck began swimming in the other direction while quacking very loudly – calling for her young to follow. After going about ten feet or so, the mother duck exited the canal on the opposite side, climbed to the top of the bank, turned around and continued to call very loudly and unceasingly to her children. The little ducks followed their mother. The baby ducks looked to be no more than a few days old, and although the canal bank was only three or four feet high, it was very steep. It must have looked like a mountain to those little ducklings, and they struggled to follow their mother. Half-way up, one of them fell and tumbled all the way back down into the water, but the little guy got right back up and started climbing again; and all the while, the mother duck never stopped calling to her young. I stood and watched the little ones in their struggle, and they finally made it to the top. I continued on my walk.

Lord Jesus Christ, for over a quarter of a century, in Medjugorje, You have sent your Mother to the world, and always she greets us, “Dear children!” Unceasingly she calls to us; always she calls us to conversion; always she encourages us to follow Jesus; always she implores us to climb the mountain of prayer and holiness. Lord Jesus, give us the grace to listen to Blessed Mother; give us the grace to always follow the right path; give us the grace to choose to climb.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

Our Lady, Queen of Peace, pray for us!

The Ascension of the Lord

2007-05-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

He answered them, "It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." When he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him from their sight. While they were looking intently at the sky as he was going, suddenly two men dressed in white garments stood beside them. They said, "Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven."
--Acts 1: 7-11

In my mind, I can picture the Apostles there on the summit of Mount Olivet, standing looking intently at the sky. They had been with Jesus from the beginning, a ragtag collection --a tax collector, farmers and fisherman; they had left everything to follow Jesus, and He told them He would make them fishers of men. They had heard Jesus’ words of truth, seen Him feed the multitudes, cast out demons, cure the sick, and raise the dead! Even then, they did not fully understand, but in their hearts they knew that Jesus was the Way, the Truth and the Life. They had been Blessed to understand that Jesus was the Christ; but Jesus told them that He had come as a suffering servant to be condemned and executed. At the last supper, He washed their feet; then He instituted the Eucharist, giving Himself to us – spiritual food in material form – and He promised the coming of the Holy Spirit as our helper and guide. And then Jesus was arrested and tortured and condemned and crucified – imagine the confusion and horrible grief they felt. Then, on the third day, they found the empty tomb – Jesus had risen! And for forty days He again appeared to them; He walked and ate with them; He taught and He prayed with them. And they followed Jesus up the mountain, and He ascended into the clouds…

Last week, Dusty and Isabella came home from the corner smoothie shop with a couple of helium balloons. They let the balloons get away, and we watched them ascend into the sky. We were able to see them for quite a few minutes as we watched them go higher and higher and get smaller and smaller. Eventually, there came a point when we could no longer see the balloons. We stood there a few moments more, searching the sky to see if we could find the balloons, but they were gone.

I can picture Jesus followers standing on Mount Olivet, looking intently at the sky, looking for Jesus. I can imagine the uncertainty they felt, perhaps wondering to themselves, “What will we do now? How are we to go on without Jesus?” I can just picture them standing there in silence, maybe glancing at one another, not knowing what to say or do, and looking back at the sky. I’ll bet they didn’t want to come down off that mountain…

And then two men dressed in white garments – Angels – appeared beside them and asked them, "Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky?” At that point, they still lacked understanding because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon them. But Jesus had given them a mission – “be my witnesses…to the ends of the earth.” And the men in white garments reminded them of this and told them that, "This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.”

There’s a lot going on in the world right now that causes many people a lot of fear and anxiety. I think there are a lot of people just waiting for God to do something, a lot like Jesus’ followers standing on the mountain of Olivet – but Jesus gave them a mission, just as He has given us His modern day disciples a mission. Just a few days ago in Aparecida, Brazil, Pope Benedict XVI echoed the words of Jesus – “be my witnesses…to the ends of the earth” -- in giving His Apostles and Disciples their mission: “I remind the lay faithful that they too are the Church, the assembly called together by Christ so as to bring His witness to the whole world.”

The Holy Father also said, “Christians are called to announce the Resurrection with force.” We are not supposed to stand around looking to the heavens waiting for God to act; we are to proclaim the good news boldly! How do we do this? My own personal opinion is that we do this in two ways: first, we profess our faith and we wear it on our sleeves; we let people know who we are and what it is we stand for. We wear the cross of Jesus and we display it prominently in our homes. When others are putting up secular holiday decorations, we decorate with religious Holy Day displays. We look for those who are seeking or troubled, and we ask if they would like to know Jesus. We don’t push ourselves on anyone, but neither do we hide our faith. How will anyone believe in Jesus if they don’t see that we believe in Him?

The second way in which we profess our faith is we believe in that we live it; we not only talk the talk, we walk the walk. We put God in the first place in our lives by believing in family and praying together as a family and making going to church on Sunday the highlight of our week, not something we squeeze into our busy schedules. We do our best to live by God’s Commandments, and when we stumble, when we sin, we acknowledge that it is by our own weaknesses and shortcomings; we do not deny the standard of Truth. When we fall, we seek reconciliation with our God. We seek to follow Jesus, to give as He gave, to forgive as He forgives, and to love as He is Love. This is what it means to believe; this is what it means to live as a Christian. If we truly believe, our works will show it.

If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well," but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it? So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
--James 2: 15-17

On May 2, 2007, the Blessed Virgin Mary in Medjugorje gave this message for the world:
"Dear children! Today I come to you with a motherly desire for you to give me your hearts. My children, do this with complete trust and without fear. In your hearts, I will put my Son and His mercy. Then, my children, you will look at the world around you with different eyes. You will see your neighbor. You will feel his pain and suffering. You will not turn your head away from those who suffer, because my Son turns His head away from those who do so. Children, do not hesitate."

Our Lady’s words echo the words of Sacred Scripture.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
--James 1: 27

Our Lord Jesus, the suffering servant who washed the Apostles feet, Himself said,
“Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do…”
--John 14: 12

THE CORPORAL WORKS OF MERCY
Feed the hungry.

Give drink to the thirsty.

Give clothing to the naked.

Shelter the homeless.

Care for the sick.

Visit the imprisoned.

Bury the dead.

Hope

2007-05-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

Isabella will turn four in two weeks. We went for our walk this morning, and per our usual routine, we stopped at the neighborhood park. I watched my little girl and the other preschoolers playing; already they have a healthy self-interest and a certain rebelliousness, but otherwise they are still pretty innocent at that age. I wondered what kind of people they would grow up to be. We as parents have a sacred duty to teach our children right from wrong and to ensure their religious education. How can our children have faith if they do not see it in their families? While in the past few weeks I have been remembering my own past, I have recognized the same doubts and struggles that I faced reflected in the youth of today’s world.

One young woman has been questioning and seeking. She cries out: “…lately I've been having serious doubts about Christianity and religion…I felt strongly on my heart to try out the Catholic Church. I have been attending the Catholic Church down the road from where I live for only about four weeks. It is the most holy and beautiful place I have ever been. But I'm confused. The Catholics say they are Christ's true Church. But every denomination, religion, etc, are saying the same thing. I've taken this before the Lord many times. I've come to the conclusion that Christ alone is the Truth, and I follow after Him, and seek Him desperately. I end up confused and doubting, sometimes (rarely) even His existence, which I hate to admit. I love Him completely, yet I doubt when He seems out of reach. How do you know? How can you possibly know what is right? It's so frustrating that you cannot know! Where are answers when you seek them with all your heart?”

The people she turned to gave her some very good answers, but in her teenage angst and impatience, after only a few days, she left…

Another young man has been struggling with the conflict between his desire to be a faithful disciple of Jesus and the desires of his own weakness in an unbelieving world. Now he is coming to grips with the consequences of his choices – he has gotten his girlfriend pregnant. He wants to do the right thing, and in this there is hope. I say to him that my own life is a testament that God can bring good out of any situation.

We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
--Romans 8: 28

I am always blown away when I see young people with faith, especially when I consider my own confusion as a young man. It was bad enough thirty years ago, but now the materialism and immorality is so much more blatant. Look at our entertainment. When I was growing up, we watched The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie; now we have shows like Fear Factor, Sex in the City and Jerry Springer. We’ve gone from shows that upheld family, hard work and moral living to shows that glorify promiscuity and violence; the game shows and talk shows seek to strip all dignity from the human person, and our society calls this entertainment. It’s simply amazing that any youth can have faith in today’s world.

Last month I was asked to be part of a prayer team for the monthly meeting of the youth ministry at Arizona State University. It was an incredible evening which included great music by Matt Maher, and concluded with a time of praise and adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. It filled my heart with joy to see several hundred college students on their knees before the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar. Here is the hope for our future.

In CROSSING THE THRESHOLD OF HOPE, by Pope John Paul II, he states that youth is “…a time given by Providence to every person and given to him as a responsibility. During that time he searches, like the young man in the Gospel, for answers to basic questions; he searches not only for the meaning of life but also for a concrete way to go about living his life…If at every stage of his life man desires to be his own person, to find love, during his youth he desires it even more strongly…After all, young people are always searching for the beauty in love. They want their love to be beautiful. If they give in to weakness, following models of behavior that can rightly be considered a “scandal in the contemporary world”…in the depths of their hearts they still desire a beautiful and pure love…Ultimately, they know that only God can give them this love.”

We had several young engaged couples with us on retreat last weekend. Some of us shared our stories with these young people, and we spoke of the choices that each of us makes every day – whether to follow Jesus or to go our own way – and of the consequences of our choices, for ourselves and for others. My friend Mike told them that much of what he’s seen in the world in the last few years is discouraging, but to see them there together seeking to follow Jesus gives us hope. They are on the right path, and my prayer for them is that they continue on the right path. I encouraged them to put God in the first place in their families, to make prayer a priority in their families, to pray together every day as a family. This is the hope for our world – a generation turning to Jesus.

On October 22, 1978, at his inauguration, Pope John Paul II said to the young people gathered in St. Peter’s square, “You are the hope of the Church and of the world. You are my hope.”

John Paul the Great, pray for us!

Right with God

2007-05-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

entropy
“a process of degradation or running down or a trend to disorder”
--Merriam-Webster

I was praying in the chapel the other day before Mass, and the silence was interrupted by someone tapping on a microphone. The choir “loft” in this church is on the left and to the rear -- I could see it directly to the side from where I was kneeling – and I observed a woman going from microphone to microphone and testing them by tapping on them with her finger. I thought to myself how easily I was distracted from Jesus by a little noise, and returned to my prayer. However, the woman continued going from microphone to microphone – tap, tap, tap, tap….tap, tap, tap, tap… -- and I felt compelled to watch her.

The woman tested all the microphones, stopped, looked around, smoothed her dress… and then she began testing microphones again – tap, tap, tap, tap… Finally, apparently satisfied that all the microphones were working, she stopped, smoothed her dress, and surveyed the choir loft. She walked over to one of the music stands, moved it a little, stepped back, and then moved the music stand back to its original position. She smoothed her dress and surveyed the loft again. Next she sat on the piano bench and picked up a stack of song sheets. She counted all the microphones, pointing at each one with her finger, and then she counted the song sheets. She dropped all the song sheets on the floor and then picked them up again. She recounted. The woman stood, collected her shoulder bag, and clutched it tightly to her side. She again surveyed the choir loft, and then stood there, a look of concern on her face, as if wondering what she could possibly have forgotten. Apparently unable to think of anything, she walked off, clutching her bag tightly. She stopped in the doorway, turned and stood looking back at the loft. I bowed my head and returned to the silence.

It occurred to me as I watched this woman, that her desire for everything to be perfect -- her anxiety and her fear -- were a reflection of the world we live in. We are bombarded with messages that we need to have perfect hair and perfect teeth, a perfect house and yard and a perfectly detailed car, the perfect job and perfectly behaved kids. Really, people want to have a perfect life, and when things don’t go right, this causes a lot of fear and anxiety.

This desire for a perfect happy life is really a desire to create heaven on earth, but that’s never going to happen because we live in a fallen world. The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is moving from a state of order to a state of disorder. I had the realization once that entropy (disorder) came into existence after the fall from grace.

…"Cursed be the ground because of you! In toil shall you eat its yield all the days of your life. Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to you, as you eat of the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face shall you get bread to eat, until you return to the ground, from which you were taken; for you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return."
--Genesis 3: 17-19

In their disobedience, Adam and Eve brought disorder to the world, and it is the same for us today. A secular and materialistic world tells us to follow our own desires, and when we make choices that are selfish and indifferent to others, we cause pain and bring disorder to the world. When the Earth’s resources are exploited for profit, the environment is ravaged and it wreaks havoc on nature. But when we listen to God, we can find understanding in the disorder; when we seek to follow His ways and make the right choices, then we bring kindness, and love, and hope to the world.

On retreat this weekend, on Sunday morning I walked down to the shrine and sat in front of the statue of St. Joseph and the Child Jesus. I’d brought along my Rosary beads and a little volume by Pope John Paul II, but as I sat in the quiet and peace of the early morning, I felt that little Jesus wanted me to sit and listen. I heard the buzz of wings of the little birds in the oaks, and all around me little tweets and chirps and birdsong, and the gentle whispering of the wind. And in my heart, a still small voice…

I watched beautiful, delicate little yellow birds flitting about the branches. One of the little birds landed on a branch directly over my head, and I remembered once that a pigeon pooped on my head. Then I felt the Spirit speaking to me in my heart: He was telling me that, yes, this is a fallen world and there will be times when the birds poop on your head. We are going to have troubles in this life; it’s a disordered world and things very often aren’t going to go right, but they are small things really, and we can know that Jesus will be right there with us, and we will get through it. There is one thing we have control over: we can choose to be right with God, and if we are seeking righteousness, there is no need for any anxiety or worry or fear.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”
--Matthew 6: 25-34

Christ at Prayer

2007-04-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

As we draw near to the end this Lenten season, my thoughts return to the mystery of Jesus in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, Himself often drew apart in solitude, even at night, at decisive moments, and for 40 days in the desert.

In fact, all his life is a prayer because he is in a constant communion of love with the Father.
–COMPENDIUM: Catechism of the Catholic Church 542

In one of the discussion forums I participate in, my friend Padraig has been leading a discussion on prayer. For him, prayer is essential. “One thing now I notice about my own life's journey as a pilgrimage of prayer…everything I see in my life that has or is happening I see in relationship to God. I know I simply cannot live without it. All TRUE prayer and I emphasize all TRUE prayer is made up of this: the Holy Spirit crying within us to the Father conforming us into the image of Christ. There's a great mystery here, I think such prayer is the beginning of eternity, the hallway to heaven, for make no mistake about it we will all spend our eternity in prayer. For if there were no prayer there would be no eternal life.”

In Medjugorje, the Blessed Virgin Mary has urged us to “…pray, pray, pray!” She asks us to pray in such a way as to make our lives a prayer. And in Sacred Scripture, the Apostle Paul tells us to, “Pray without ceasing.”

(1 Thessalonians 5: 17)

This modern world we live in is certainly very busy. Right now, I’m recovering from a very packed two weeks. Where we live, spring break fell right in the middle of Lent. I started by working a final 12-hour shift at the hospital. The next day, my family and I hopped a plane for the east coast. My wife had a conference in Baltimore, and we combined this with a vacation visiting relatives in Virginia and touring our nation’s capitol. On day 11, we arrived home at 10:30pm, and I was up early for another 12-hour shift at the hospital; and then another shift the next day. We finished the break on Sunday by going to mass together as a family; then we napped the rest of the afternoon away.

It was great to be reunited with my family who I had not seen in years, and it was inspiring to stand and gaze upon the various monuments honoring those who strived and fought for the ideals on which our country was founded. It was a good trip, and it left me not only a little tired physically, but also somewhat spiritually disheveled. It made me realize how fortunate I am to be able to take quiet walks, Rosary in hand, and to have a work schedule that allows me to go to weekday Mass once or twice during the week. It is when we seek time in solitude and quiet that we are able to listen to God speak to us. “Be still and know that I am God...” (Psalm 46:10) It is during the Holy Mass (the highest form of prayer) that I am sometimes flooded with incredible peace and joy and understanding.

When Jesus had said this, he raised his eyes to heaven and said, "Father, the hour has come. Give glory to your son, so that your son may glorify you, just as you gave him authority over all people, so that he may give eternal life to all you gave him. Now this is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ. I glorified you on earth by accomplishing the work that you gave me to do. Now glorify me, Father, with you, with the glory that I had with you before the world began. "I revealed your name to those whom you gave me out of the world. They belonged to you, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you gave me is from you, because the words you gave to me I have given to them, and they accepted them and truly understood that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for the ones you have given me, because they are yours, and everything of mine is yours and everything of yours is mine, and I have been glorified in them. And now I will no longer be in the world, but they are in the world, while I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one just as we are. When I was with them I protected them in your name that you gave me, and I guarded them, and none of them was lost except the son of destruction, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to you. I speak this in the world so that they may share my joy completely. I gave them your word, and the world hated them, because they do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world but that you keep them from evil one. They do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world. Consecrate them in the truth. Your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world. And I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in truth. "I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me. And I have given them the glory you gave me, so that they may be one, as we are in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me. Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world. Righteous Father, the world also does not know you, but I know you, and they know that you sent me. I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them."
--John 17

In His prayer, Jesus teaches us that we are to be in the world, but not of the world. He tells us that eternal life is to know Him. And how can we know Him if we do not spend time with Him?

My friend Cecil who painted Christ at Prayer said this: “I think Christ at Prayer is simple and reflects on the purpose of the painting—how we need to separate ourselves from worldly events and allow our Lord to mold our hearts and souls to His.’

At one point in our discussion, Padraig compared prayer to our very breath.

“We must remember God more often than we draw breath.”
--Saint Gregory of Nazianzus

And if we do not breathe, we cannot live.

I am reminded of the words of the song Breathe by Michael W. Smith:
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy Presence living in me.
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very Word spoken to me.
And I am desperate for You.
And I am lost without You…

This is the air I breathe:
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me…

In the Desert

2007-02-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

By the solemn forty days of Lent the Church unites herself each year to the mystery of Jesus in the desert.
--Catechism of the Catholic Church 540

Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert, and for forty days He fasted and was tempted. The Catechism tells us that this is a mystery – a truth that cannot be fully understood, even after revelation by God. During this season of preparation, we Catholics unite ourselves to this mystery through increased efforts of prayer and fasting; we imitate Jesus through sacrifice and self-denial in our desire to be like Him. And we examine our consciences, and we make confession in order to reconcile ourselves with our God and with each other.

I am very much aware of my own weaknesses and shortcomings. I’ve been known to have a bit of a temper at times. I also struggle with weaknesses of the flesh – for example, I like to eat a little too much. I was once a very selfish and arrogant and egotistical man, and these things are not easily gotten rid of. Every time I post on this blog or tell someone about Jesus and that I am a Catholic, I am very much aware that whether or not anyone believes me depends, not so much on what I say, as on whether or not others believe that I believe what I say.

I’m reminded of a statement at the beginning of the song “What if I Stumble?” by dc talk: “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and go on about their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

And so I make no claim to being a good or holy man. I need God’s Mercy as much as anyone, perhaps more.

In a discussion about prayer yesterday, my friend Padraig stated, “Humility is simply the inner realization of the truth…and the truth quite simply…is that everything we have is a gift from God.” Humility is the understanding that we can say or do nothing good except by the grace of God.

Early one morning a couple of years ago, a friend suddenly asked, “Do you really believe this whole Jesus thing?” Now I am not a morning person and this caught me totally off guard; it was time to go to work, and I wasn’t certain he was even talking to me as I had just walked into the locker room. At the time, I wasn’t certain how to respond to him. Now I realize that all I needed to do was look my friend in the eye and say with conviction, “Yes I do.”

Yes, I do believe that we should put God in the first place in out lives – that we should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Yes, I do believe that we are called to holiness. And in all humility, I do believe that just because a standard seems unreachable, that doesn’t mean that this standard isn’t the truth. And in all humility, I do believe that just because in my weakness I may not be able to live up to the standard, that doesn’t mean I should stop proclaiming the Truth.

I leave you with the words of another song by dc talk (earlier today I was listening to it and jumping around the room).

In The Light

I keep trying to find the light, on my own apart from You.
I am the king of excuses – I have one for every selfish thing I do.
Tell me what’s going on inside of me: I despise my own behavior.
This only serves to confirm my condition that I’m still a man in need of a Savior.

I want to be in the light as You are in the light;
I want to shine like the stars in the heavens.
O Lord be my light and be my salvation.
All I want is to be in the light

All I want is to be in the light...

Mr. Pack Rat

2007-01-25T08:58:00.000-08:00

Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul, Apostle

Back in October, when the weather had started to cool off just a little, I decided to clean out my storage shed. I had noticed some rodent droppings recently, and some things weren’t where I’d left them. When I moved some of the clutter, I found a pack rat’s nest. I guess the little rat thought my storage shed would be a good place to stake his homestead. I felt differently, and Mr. Pack Rat’s life on this earth came to a sudden and unexpected end that day.

I didn’t have any M-95 respirator masks lying around the house, so I tied one of Liane’s cloth napkins around my face and began deconstructing Mr. Rat’s castle (wondering to myself if Mr. Rat had Hanta virus and whether or not the napkin was an adequate filter). As I moved everything out of the shed, I saw that Mr. Rat had been busy. His primary construction material consisted of leaves and twigs, about two bushels worth. He’d chewed on some burlap and had made a cozy little bed for himself in the middle of it all behind the disassembled walls of my Christmas Nativity stable which were propped against the back of the shed. Now pack rats are thieves by nature, and this little guy had been busy storing up quite a treasure for himself (most of it stolen from me). As I cleaned out the nest, I found a bottle cap, a golf ball, enough PVC fittings to fill a bucket, a pocket knife (mine), three shelf brackets, a large number of peach pits (I’d wondered why I hadn’t seen any under our tree), some dried-out carrots from our garden, an electronic circuit board and a half-dozen heavy brass hinges!

The little rat had also taken measures to fortify and protect his home full of booty. At strategic locations around the perimeter of his nest, he had carefully arranged thorny twigs from our bougainvilleas! But despite all his stealing and hoarding and efforts to protect his little castle, Mr. Pack Rat didn’t take any of it with him.

Mr. Rat had really made a mess in my shed. He’d gnawed holes in a couple of bags of fertilizer which had spilled out all over the place. And Mr. Rat had been pilfering food from our pet rabbit Peter. Turns out Peter hadn’t been eating nearly as much as I thought he had. Mixed in with the leaves and spilled fertilizer and little caches of rabbit food and all the little treasures, I found the desiccated body of a little bird. And all in and around Mr. Rat’s nest, and all over my storage shed were lots and lots of Mr. Rat’s feces. Mr. Pack Rat’s nest was really nothing but a pile of refuse.

I was reminded of the words of St. Paul:
“More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ…”
--Philippians 3: 8

I’m also reminded of the Parable of the Rich Fool:
Then he told them a parable. "There was a rich man whose land produced a bountiful harvest. He asked himself, 'What shall I do, for I do not have space to store my harvest?' And he said, 'This is what I shall do: I shall tear down my barns and build larger ones. There I shall store all my grain and other goods and I shall say to myself, "Now as for you, you have so many good things stored up for many years, rest, eat, drink, be merry!"
But God said to him, 'You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?'
Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich in what matters to God."
--Luke 12: 16-21

Mr. Pack Rat stored up quite a treasure for himself, but it was really just so much refuse. We all must ask ourselves what it is we value. Are our minds occupied with earthly things? Or do we seek richness in what matters to God? Jesus Himself tells us that true wealth lies not in the things of this world which are temporary; true wealth lies in the Kingdom of God which is at hand for us.

Saint Paul the Apostle, pray for us!

On Being Catholic

2007-01-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts on Christian unity and on being Catholic and on the greatest commandment…

This past New Year’s Eve, a group of us got together for a cul-de-sac party. We sat around the fire pit, sharing food and catching up on the news of the past year and contemplating resolutions for the year ahead. At some point, the conversation turned to religion, and my neighbor Jeri turned to me and said, “What does it mean to be Catholic?”

This question caught me by surprise. I don’t remember my exact words, but I basically said that, for one, some of our beliefs are different. Holy Communion, for example: Protestants believe that Communion is symbolic, but Catholics believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. I said that Catholics believe in the teaching authority of the Church: we believe that when Jesus founded His Church, He gave the Church the Authority to teach on matters of faith and morals, and to be a Catholic in good standing, we must accept that Teaching, even if we don’t understand it, even if from our limited human understanding it seems hard, or unfair. I also remember saying that I don’t believe that being Catholic makes me any better than anyone else; if anything, it gives me more responsibility.

“…Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.”
--Luke 12: 48

I wondered if I had answered well. We all of us agreed, however, on that cold winter evening, that it was very cool that we could be together like that. All of us from different backgrounds, different countries even, and different faiths, that we could come together in a spirit of friendship – very cool.

Someone once asked Mother Teresa if it was important to be Catholic. She answered, “Yes, for me and for every individual, according to the grace God has given to each.” The person persisted, asking her if what church a person went to was really important, and she responded:

“It is important for the individual. If the individual thinks and believes that his or her way is the only way to God, if they do not know any other way, do not doubt and so do not feel the need to look elsewhere, then that is their way of salvation, the way that God comes into their life. But from the moment that a soul receives the grace to know God, it must begin to seek. And if it does not seek, it moves away from the right road. But God gives to all souls that He creates a chance to meet Him and to accept Him or reject Him.”
--Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Blessed Teresa was stating the teaching of the Catholic Church: there are many ways of knowing God, and one does not have to belong to a particular church to go to Heaven.

“The Catholic Church rejects nothing of what is true and holy in these (other) religions. She has a high regard for the manner of life and conduct, the precepts and teachings, which, although differing in many ways from her own teaching, nonetheless often reflect a way of truth which enlightens all men.”
--Dominus Iesus

Obviously, however, not all faiths can have the same level of Truth. Like Blessed Teresa said, it’s all about grace, and our individual response to God’s grace. The questions each of us must ask ourselves are, “Am I being honest with myself? Am I making an honest effort?”

What does it mean to be Catholic? The word catholic means “universal” – the Catholic Church is meant for everyone. After all, we are all of us children of God; we are all of us brothers and sisters. Knowing this, I am able to forgive and to love.

Another good friend, “Mario,” feels this way:
“The Roman Catholic Church possesses the certainty and fullness of Truth, with Sacraments of both intimacy and mercy.”

I know there is a lot of anti-Catholic sentiment out there. I’ve heard and read some very mean and hateful things said about Catholics, and there are those who believe that Catholics are not even Christians. Wow. As a Catholic, I would never say that about anyone else. Where is the love in that?

I’m reminded of something my friend Kevin wrote a couple of years ago to someone who was putting down the recently deceased Pope John Paul II:
“I will pray for you. I belong to a Church that does not conform to the secular ways of this world. I belong to a Church that holds to the ideology and moral teaching of Jesus Christ. I belong to a Church with a long lineage back to Jesus himself. I belong to a Church that does not have a cafeteria style menu teaching that allows me to select and choose what I believe, and cater to secular morality just because the world teaches us that it is OK to kill unborn children, murder an innocent woman because she can't feed herself, that same gender relations are OK to call marriage, that birth control is OK. I am grateful to belong to this Church, a Church that has a Magisterium that has studied for 2000 years, and passed the teachings and traditions of Christ Himself on. It is called the Catholic Church, and I praise God that the leaders of this Church will stand strong under the persecution of this world and have the moral servitude to say no to secularism. May God bless you and open your eyes. You don't draw people to God by tearing apart other religions. You draw them to God by loving them. Try it; it works.”

My friend Kevin had an incredible conversion experience some years ago – Jesus’ Love touched his heart, and Kevin became a new man. You can see this in Kevin, the love he has for Jesus, how it has filled him. When he talks, it flows out of him.

"Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."
--Matthew 22: 36-40

The Church Jesus founded is based on love. We’re supposed to love each other, to take care of each other, to support each other, to give to each other, and hold each other accountable. We are supposed to sacrifice for each other. And we are supposed to forgive each other, even those who would be our enemy.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.”
--Matthew 5: 44

We are all of us God’s children, and our Father in Heaven loves all of us the same, from the greatest Saint to the most wicked sinner. And He expects all of us to love each other. To me, this is what being a Catholic is all about. It’s not about being right; it’s about being good, as our Father in Heaven is good.

So is it important to be Catholic? For me, Darrell, Yes, it is important to be Catholic. As a human father, I love my children and want only good for them. So I teach them and give them rules to keep them safe and to teach them to lead good lives. Sometimes my children don’t like my rules because their understanding is limited. Jesus has given us His Holy Catholic Church – a Church meant for everyone – to guide us because our human understanding is limited. But this is my understanding and my belief, and I will judge no one for not believing the same.

As my friend Padraig says, “At the end of the day we will be judged on love.”

J.M.J.

2006-12-31T19:41:00.000-08:00

The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

I had a dream in the wee hours of the morning yesterday. In my dream, our family had moved to my grandmother’s house. (My grandmother died six years ago, and her house was sold several years later, but I had the feeling in my dream that we had moved there because this was the place I considered home.) In the dream, my wife Liane came to me and told me she wanted a divorce. I was shocked, and I asked her, “But what about our sacred vows?” She looked at me with a look that said they weren’t important to her. “What about our sacred vows?” I repeated. “What about our duty to God and to each other and to our children? Think what this will do to our children,” I told her. “I don’t care about any of that,” she said. “I just know that I don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

I found this dream very strange because this is something I am not at all worried about. My wife and I love each other and are very committed to our marriage and to our family. Now Liane and I don’t always see eye to eye; we have our disagreements, and one or the other of us has been known on occasion to raise our voices. But we are Catholic, and we believe the Catholic teaching on these matters.

“A man and a woman united in marriage form a family together with their children. God instituted the family and endowed it with its fundamental constitution. Marriage and the family are ordered to the good of the spouses and to the procreation and education of children. Members of the same family establish among themselves personal relationships and primary responsibilities. In Christ the family becomes the domestic church because it is a community of faith, of hope, and of charity.”
--COMPENDIUM: Catechism of the Catholic Church 456

Family is very important to me. I believe the family is essential for civilized society. The Catholic Church teaches that family is necessary for the human person, and the family is the foundation of social life. Further, the lay faithful, in their family life, offer to God the world itself. Family is second only to the Christian vocation which is to follow Jesus and to love Him. The Christian family is the first place of education in prayer, the school of human and Christian virtue, the place where the faith is first proclaimed to children. The Church also teaches that society has the duty to support and strengthen marriage and the family!

So as I said, I found my dream rather odd; that is until I realized that it came on the eve of the celebration of The Holy Family. Now most of the time I think dreams are just dreams. But sometimes the Lord speaks to us in dreams. We see this many times in the scriptures. The magi, for example, were warned by God in a dream not to return to Herod (Matthew 2: 12). And the Lord sent an angel to St. Joseph in a dream on two separate occasions: first, to tell Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife (Matthew 1: 20); and again to warn him to take his family and flee to Egypt (Matthew 2: 13). Sometimes God speaks to us in our dreams, and I think even the biggest skeptic would admit that this is an interesting coincidence that I had this particular dream on the eve of the celebration of The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Does our post-modern, materialistic and relativistic society support the family? The most recent statistic I’ve heard states that fifty percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. According to the Division of Vital Statistics, one-third of all marriages end within the first ten years. Clearly, there is a crisis of marriage and family in the western world. I am reminded of a talk I heard in Bosnia-Herzegovina.

“The family has a heart, and its name is Jesus. It’s love. To give ones life for others, to love… Jesus has not asked for separation from the Church. Jesus has not asked for divorce…
The family has edged into crisis. It no longer sees the light… In the family where there is no prayer, in the family that is not raised in the spirit of Jesus’ Gospel, where there is no Christian love, where there is no profession of faith, there is no experience of faith. My God is alive! I need Him! I love Him! The Christian community, the Christian family, must understand that it has an assignment to show the greatest love, to show what Jesus has shown to the Church. He has given Himself completely to the Church. That is why Our Lady asks for Jesus to be in the center of the family because He has given Himself for the family…
We can observe a right of marriage that lasts to this very day, that was sustained. When the bride and the groom enter into marriage they bring a crucifix with them. The priest blesses the crucifix. And the bride and the groom, both holding each other, hold the cross. They place their right hands on the cross, and they exchange their vows and promises. When the right, the sacrament, is complete, the priest tells them, “Now you may kiss the cross.” With a moved heart, they kiss the cross. And that cross returns back into their family, and they know this is where our marriage was born. This is where our family is born, in the Cross of the Lord.
And there, where the cross is placed in their home, they pray together every day. The husband and the wife first pray. And when the children are born, they may also bring us the children to pray before the cross, and always the cross is kissed. And we are certain knowing who protects us, whose defense and protection we are under. Jesus is over us. And when crisis comes in marriage, difficulty, war, hunger, sickness, there is no divorce here. No, we truly do not know about divorce. Look (at the cross)! Look at (the cross in) my hands! How can a husband say, “I’m leaving my wife?” I must leave Jesus, and if I have left Jesus, what do I have left? No! I must know the teaching at my wedding. My husband, my wife, is my cross. How am I to throw away my cross? How am I to leave my husband? He is my cross. How am I to leave my wife? She is my cross. I must accept and carry my cross. That is the mystery of marriage. That is the sacrament – to be for others. I am consecrated with this cross, to carry you, with love to carry you, that I may always be able to forgive you. And in that family that is holy, that is born from the cross, Jesus. Jesus.”
--Father Jozo Zovko

“Dear children! This is a time of grace for the family, and therefore, I call you to renew prayer. May Jesus be in the heart of your family. In prayer, learn to love everything that is holy. Imitate the lives of the saints so that they may be an incentive and teachers on the way of holiness. May every family become a witness of love in this world without prayer and peace. Thank you for having responded to my call.”
--Our Lady of Medjugorje, October 25, 2004

Anticipation

2006-12-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

Advent is a season of anticipation, a time of joyous expectation and devotion as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. My children are certainly excited. Dusty is already keeping tabs on the brightly wrapped packages that are accumulating under our Christmas tree, and little Isabella looks in wonder and fascination at the lights and ornaments.

Wednesday at work, I was talking with my friend Maryann, a nursing assistant who moved to the United States from Kenya about four years ago. I asked her if she missed Africa, and she told me no. “What I miss is church in Kenya,” she said. “In Kenya, all week long everyone looks forward to going to church on Sunday. In America, the ballgame is church; Hollywood is church. In America, everyone talks about the ballgame or the movie. In my country, in Kenya, everyone talks about how great God is and what He has done for them in their lives.”

I told Maryann that this devotion to God reminded me of Medjugorje. “In Medjugorje,” I told her, “everyone goes to Mass every day, the whole village. This is what the whole world is supposed to be like. If the whole world had this devotion to God, if everyone were putting God in the first place in their lives, then we would not be confronted with the things this world is now facing.”

Blessed the nation whose God is the LORD.
--Psalms 33: 12

Maryann’s words about American society’s values ring true to me. In our neighborhood, the houses are brightly lit with icicle lights, and the yards are decorated with mechanical deer and giant inflatable snow men and snow globes. Sadly, the Nativity in my front yard is the only one on the block. And I can see this conflict of values reflected in the understanding of my eight-year-old son.

Last week, Dusty and his Mom went to see THE NATIVITY STORY (I stayed home with Isabella who had a nasty case of the pink eye). Liane told me that after the show was over, Dusty said, “That was a really good movie!” It was very encouraging for me to know that Dusty was excited to see this film about the birth of Jesus, a story that we’ve read and talked about many times. I’m very encouraged that he understands what Christmas is really about. On the other hand, he is very excited about the presents…

A few days ago, I watched THE NATIVITY STORY. It was incredible. While the film was not without flaws (especially regarding Catholic teaching about Blessed Mary)…

Mary set out in those days and traveled to the hill country in haste
to a town of Judah, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb,
and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said,
“Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.
And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy.
Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.”
Mary said:
“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
for he has looked upon his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
and has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever.”
--Luke 1: 39-56

…I found the movie inspiring. The portrayal of St. Joseph was brilliant! Mary and Joseph believed what the Lord had spoken to them, and as they went on their journey, we saw Joseph’s integrity, strength, and resolve. We saw the relationship between Mary and Joseph developing based on devotion to God, trust and virtue.

Another part of THE NATIVTY STORY that I really liked was the portrayal of the three kings. They recognized the signs of their times, and they traveled over deserts and mountains and barren plains, enduring many hardships, all the time anticipating the birth of the Lord of Lords, the Priest of Priests, and the King of Kings. And when they presented their gifts to the newborn Christ Child, the sense of wonder and awe and holiness…

As I ponder on these things, I ask myself, “What gifts am I bringing to Our Lord?” As for me, the thing I am most looking forward to on Christmas day is going to the Christ-Mass.

I wish for all of us to embrace the true Spirit of the season as we anticipate this most joyous and Holy Day. Have a Blessed Christmas!

Apostle Paul in Prison

2006-12-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

By Rembrandt

Back in September, I was looking for a picture to go with my thoughts for “See the Light.” I searched the internet for an image of Paul on the road to Damascus, and I could only find two. One was like a cartoon, simplistic and suitable really for only a child’s book. The other I posted: a black and white drawing of Paul, fallen from his horse and shielding his eyes from the intense light, and we see an image of Christ in the light. The artist is unknown to me, or I would give him or her credit.

I looked through hundreds of other paintings, drawings, and icons, but I knew that Rembrandt’s painting of the “Apostle Paul in Prison” was the right one to use. Some weeks later, I sat studying this portrayal of Saint Paul, and I was struck with how masterfully the artist had captured the character of the Apostle.

This is my comfort in affliction, your promise that gives me life.
--Psalms 119: 50

The first thing we see is that Paul is sitting in a dark prison cell, but the Apostle is not in darkness, he is in the light. He is an old man, and so this must be soon before he is to be executed. But there is no fear or despair in his face. In fact, when I look at his face, I can easily imagine him dressed in a black suit with a yarmulke and a prayer shawl; he looks like a rabbi to me. I see kindness and gentleness and thoughtfulness in his countenance. And like a rabbi, the old Apostle spends his day in prayer and contemplation of the scriptures.

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path…
Truly I love your commands more than the finest gold.
--Psalms 119: 105 and 127

We see a sword in the shadow off to the side. We are reminded that Paul who was Saul once persecuted the Christians, even to death. But the sword has been put aside, and we see in Paul’s hands parchment and a writing instrument. And we see the sacred texts piled close beside him.

Though distress and anguish come upon me, your commands are my delight.
--Psalms 119: 143

Finally, we see that the Apostle has one shoe on, and one shoe off, symbolic that Paul has one foot in this world, and one in the next. Indeed, in his Letter to the Philippians, Paul writes:

For to me life is Christ, and death is gain. If I go on living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. And I do not know which I shall choose. I am caught between the two. I long to depart this life and be with Christ, (for) that is far better. Yet that I remain (in) the flesh is more necessary for your benefit. And this I know with confidence, that I shall remain and continue in the service of all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that your boasting in Christ Jesus may abound on account of me when I come to you again.
--Chapter 1: 21 -26

The Hand of God

2006-11-16T15:28:00.000-08:00

Some final thoughts and photos from our family vacation last month:

In my recent post, “God Who Created All Things,” I reflected on ways of coming to know God: on the desire in our hearts and in Creation itself. I concluded with the words of Saint Paul; he and the other Disciples and Apostles were commissioned to spread the good news of Divine Revelation:

“It pleased God, in his goodness and wisdom, to reveal himself and to make known the mystery of his will. His will was that men should have access to the Father, through Christ, the Word made flesh, in the Holy Spirit, and thus become sharers in the divine nature.”
--Catechism of the Catholic Church 51

As my family and I drove through Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico on our recent vacation, I saw many signs pointing to this truth. I saw over seventy crosses along the side of the roadways, each a testament of faith, each a sign of our hope in Eternity.

Dusty at the south rim of the Grand Canyon, on the first afternoon of our trip.

Say to God: "How awesome your deeds! Before your great strength your enemies cringe. All on earth fall in worship before you; they sing of you, sing of your name!"
--Psalms 66: 3&4

It was raining as we drove into Durango, Colorado on the third day of our trip, and the rain turned to hailstones before we reached our lodgings for the night. A light dusting of snow covered the ground the next morning, enough for the kids to throw snowballs. We rode a train pulled by an old-fashioned steam engine to Silverton. As we pulled into the old mining town, I spotted a shrine on the side of the mountain above the town. The Christ of the Mines Shrine, a twelve-ton statue of Jesus carved from Carrara marble, was erected by the townspeople in 1959 as a tribute and in the hope that it would in some way restore prosperity to the struggling economy.

In Albuquerque, images of Our Lady of Guadalupe and carved Santos were everywhere in the shops and restaurants. We ate dinner in a Mexican restaurant in Old Town, and on a shelf on the adobe wall above our table was an image of Jesus carved from a piece of driftwood. The carving leaned over the edge of the shelf such that it appeared to me as if Jesus were watching over us as we ate.

The next day, we watched a hundred hot air balloons of all different shapes launch in the crisp early-morning air. We walked among the balloons shaped like cows, suns, flowers, stage coaches and package delivery trucks, I spotted Noah’s Ark and Jesus on a cloud.

Before leaving New Mexico, we hiked over a rocky hillside in Petroglyph National Monument. Among the other symbols, I saw several crosses. Some of them were made several centuries ago by Spanish shepherds. But the others, these outlined crosses, were carved by the hands of prehistoric Native Americans.

We don’t know what these symbols meant to the ancient peoples who carved them, but personally, I believe there was a Divine inspiration.

I see His hand everywhere.

Sign of the Cross

2006-11-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

The Commemoration of All Souls

On our recent family vacation, as I drove along admiring God’s handiwork, I noticed quite a few crosses—the ones people place on the side of the road to memorialize a loved one killed on that spot. I began keeping track of the number of crosses we passed, and after a few days of counting, it averaged out to one cross every twenty miles. This represents a fatality, a death, every twenty miles! America’s highways are truly deadly.

The cross is a symbol of our faith. It represents the death of Our Lord Jesus, who came down from Heaven and took all of the suffering and injustice of a fallen world upon Himself. He took all of our pain and bore it on His cross; He died so that we might live, and the cross is the sign of His suffering, and of our salvation.

And all these little crosses along our roads and highways are signs of human suffering. Each and every one of these crosses represents a premature and needless death. And each and every death was a cause of grief for someone… someone who took the time to make a little cross and place it along the side of the road…

I made one of these little crosses myself a little over four years ago. I used redwood so it would last, and I carefully carved Johnny’s name by hand. I primed it and painted it, and on the one year anniversary of our first-born son’s death, Liane and I drove to the spot where our little Johnny was killed, and we placed the cross there. My wife and I looked at each other, and there were no words to describe what was in our hearts… We were powerless to save our son; there was nothing we could do to bring him back… All we could do was to place a cross on the side of the road as a sign that there once lived a beautiful little boy who we loved more than anything, and he was killed, and our hearts were broken…

A few years ago, I began saying a little prayer whenever I would pass one of the little crosses alongside the road, making the sign of the cross: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” These prayers are for the souls of the departed, for their loved ones, or for whoever needs them. No prayer is ever wasted. Just as the mason takes each individual stone and places it in just the right spot in the wall, Our Father in Heaven takes each prayer, each sign of His Son’s suffering and death, each a sign of His love, and places it perfectly.

I’ve come to recognize all these crosses as more than a sign of suffering. Every time I see a roadside cross, I am reminded that our life on this Earth is so very short; I am reminded that every day is a gift; I am reminded that we were created for eternity with Our Father.

Just yesterday, on the Solemnity of All Saints, the Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI spoke these words:
“In this our time, more so than in the past, we are so absorbed by earthly things that it is hard for us to think of God as a protagonist in history and in our own lives,"

the sun rises and the sun goes down…
the wind turns again and again,
resuming its rounds…
what has been, that will be…
life is as a passing flower…
joy flows like a river,
yet never does the sea become full…

“Little children, do not forget that your life is fleeting like the spring flower which today is wondrously beautiful, but tomorrow has vanished. Therefore, pray in such a way that your prayer, your surrender to God may become like a road sign. That way, your witness will not only have value for yourselves, but for all of eternity.”
--Our Lady of Medjuogorje, March 25, 1988

God Who Created All Things

2006-10-30T15:07:00.000-08:00

Agathla Peak, Northeastern Arizona, 7100 feet

Some thoughts on the mystery hidden from ages past in God who created all things…

My family and I recently spent a week on vacation touring a little bit of the American southwest. We covered a little over 1,500 miles in a week, and as we drove along admiring God’s creation, I had some time to reflect. One of the highlights of the trip for me was Monument Valley in northern Arizona and the Valley of the Gods is southern Utah. There’s something about the immensity of this land, the sheer size and beauty and emptiness of it, that evokes a sense of wonder and of the spiritual.

As we went along, we would occasionally pass a solitary dwelling, or a small group of dwellings, and then we’d cover vast stretches before coming upon another. I thought of the Native American peoples who eked out a living in this harsh, dry land for centuries and centuries before the first Spanish explorers and missionaries came. I imagined them looking out across the towering rock formations and the great sky, perhaps sitting in front of their hogans at night and marveling at the countless stars twinkling in the sky. These native peoples were a deeply spiritual people; they possessed an instinctive awareness of the eternal, and from looking at creation itself, they knew in their hearts that there was a power greater than themselves…

“For what can be known about God is evident to them, because God made it evident to them. Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made…”
--Romans 1: 19&20

These Native Americans never heard of the God of Abraham or the name of Jesus the Nazorean, and so they looked to nature to form their spiritual beliefs. When we visited Mesa Verde in Colorado, we sat in the ancient cliff dwellings, and the ranger there told us the creation story of the Pueblo Indians. As I pondered on these things, I knew a certain understanding.

At times in my life, I’ve been troubled by this: if there is one God, why are there so many different religions? When I was a young man, I wondered what made the Christian religion I’d been brought up in any more true than any other religion. And when I couldn’t find any satisfactory answer, I declared that all religions were just myths made up by people to explain things they didn’t understand. Many years later, someone told me that religion was our human way of reaching for God, and the person of Jesus was God’s way of reaching back to us humans. At the time, I didn’t understand it; it sounded like a rationalization to me. But that day I looked out on the Valley of the Gods, I understood that it was true.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that the desire to know God is written on the human heart:

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.
My being thirsts for God, the living God. When can I go and see the face of God?”
--Psalms 42: 2&3

“…My heart and flesh cry out for the living God.”
--Psalm 84: 3

God speaks to us in many ways—through His creation, in our hearts, and in the words of Sacred Scripture. This past week, as I was pondering on these things, He surprised me in the first reading for Wednesday, October 25th, in the words of the Apostle Paul:

“Brothers and sisters: You have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace that was given to me for your benefit, namely, that the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I have written briefly earlier. When you read this you can understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to human beings in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy Apostles and prophets by the Spirit, that the Gentiles are coheirs, members of the same Body, and copartners in the promise in Christ Jesus through the Gospel.
Of this I became a minister by the gift of God’s grace that was granted me in accord with the exercise of his power. To me, the very least of all the holy ones, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the inscrutable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for all what is the plan of the mystery hidden from ages past in God who created all things, so that the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known through the Church to the principalities and authorities in the heavens. This was according to the eternal purpose
that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness of speech and confidence of access through faith in him.”
--Ephesians 3: 2-12

Praise of God the Creator

2006-10-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

Dusty cone nebula,located 2500 light-years away in the constellation Monoceros

Bless the LORD, my soul! LORD, my God, you are great indeed! You are clothed with majesty and glory, robed in light as with a cloak. You spread out the heavens like a tent; you raised your palace upon the waters. You make the clouds your chariot; you travel on the wings of the wind. You make the winds your messengers; flaming fire, your ministers. You fixed the earth on its foundation, never to be moved. The ocean covered it like a garment; above the mountains stood the waters. At your roar they took flight; at the sound of your thunder they fled. They rushed up the mountains, down the valleys to the place you had fixed for them. You set a limit they cannot pass; never again will they cover the earth. You made springs flow into channels that wind among the mountains. They give drink to every beast of the field; here wild asses quench their thirst. Beside them the birds of heaven nest; among the branches they sing. You water the mountains from your palace; by your labor the earth abounds. You raise grass for the cattle and plants for our beasts of burden. You bring bread from the earth, and wine to gladden our hearts, Oil to make our faces gleam, food to build our strength. The trees of the LORD drink their fill, the cedars of Lebanon, which you planted. There the birds build their nests; junipers are the home of the stork. The high mountains are for wild goats; the rocky cliffs, a refuge for badgers. You made the moon to mark the seasons, the sun that knows the hour of its setting. You bring darkness and night falls, then all the beasts of the forest roam abroad. Young lions roar for prey; they seek their food from God. When the sun rises, they steal away and rest in their dens. People go forth to their work, to their labor till evening falls. How varied are your works, LORD! In wisdom you have wrought them all; the earth is full of your creatures. Look at the sea, great and wide! It teems with countless beings, living things both large and small. Here ships ply their course; here Leviathan, your creature, plays. All of these look to you to give them food in due time. When you give to them, they gather; when you open your hand, they are well filled. When you hide your face, they are lost. When you take away their breath, they perish and return to the dust from which they came. When you send forth your breath, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth. May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD be glad in these works! If God glares at the earth, it trembles; if God touches the mountains, they smoke! I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God while I live. May my theme be pleasing to God; I will rejoice in the LORD. May sinners vanish from the earth, and the wicked be no more. Bless the LORD, my soul! Hallelujah!
--Psalms 104

Healing

2006-10-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was making breakfast for the kids, I was thinking about my work at the hospital. In the critical care unit where I work, we are very good at helping people to survive life-threatening situations. For example, if someone is in respiratory distress, we can give them steroids to reduce inflammation and open up the airways; we can give them diuretics if there is fluid in the lungs; we give supplemental oxygen using various methods, and we can even place them on a mechanical ventilator which can literally do the work of breathing.

However, all of this “intensive care” only helps the patient survive the immediate crisis. The underlying pathology—the asthma or emphysema causing the airways to constrict, the failing heart causing fluid to back up into the lungs, or an infection causing the patient to go into septic shock—still exists.

Once we have a patient stabilized, sometimes we can treat the underlying disease or injury. Some diseases can be managed with diet and exercise, and by a doctor prescribing the correct medications; a skilled physician can remove a tumor or perform bypass surgery on an occluded blood vessel; antibiotic drugs can fight off infectious organisms; but if any healing occurs, it is done by the body itself.

A few years ago, I was taking a class for an advanced certification, and on this particular day we were studying the nervous system. As the instructor was explaining the various control and feedback and alternate pathways, I was impressed with what an incredible and complex design our human bodies are. I kept thinking to myself, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are fearfully and wonderfully made!”

“I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew;
How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!
Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity.”
--Psalms 139: 14, 17, 18

After breakfast this morning, I dropped little Isabella off at her preschool, and I ran into an old friend who is currently fighting cancer, and we chatted for a few minutes. I was reminded that just yesterday, I was reading some letters written by another friend who is also fighting cancer: she described her uncertainty and emotions of coming to grips with her unexpected battle. And I keep in my heart another friend: she lives in Louisiana and also is battling cancer—together with some other friends, we once climbed a mountain together, a mountain with a cross on top.

And then at Mass this morning, I learned that today is the Feast of Saint Luke. This is incredible because Luke was a physician, a medical doctor. He was also a disciple of Jesus, tradition says one of the seventy-two, and as the author of the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles, he understood the healing power of the Word of God.

Now, as I am writing these thoughts, I am remembering friends and loved ones who have lost the battle with cancer: my Uncle Randy who died over twenty years ago from esophageal cancer; Linda Martin, a coworker and dedicated ICU nurse; and Gerri, one of my son Johnny’s preschool teachers.

“A Prayer of Moses, the man of God.
Lord, you have been our refuge through all generations. Before the mountains were born, the earth and the world brought forth, from eternity to eternity you are God. A thousand years in your eyes are merely a yesterday, But humans you return to dust, saying, "Return, you mortals!" Before a watch passes in the night, you have brought them to their end; they disappear like sleep at dawn; they are like grass that dies. It sprouts green in the morning; by evening it is dry and withered… Our life ebbs away… our years end like a sigh. Seventy is the sum of our years, or eighty, if we are strong; Most of them are sorrow and toil; they pass quickly, we are all but gone…”
--Psalms 90: 1-6, 9 and 10

This does not cause me sorrow or despair. Rather it inspires me! Don’t get me wrong—I have no death wish. Life is a precious gift! God gives life every chance, and He expects us to do the same. But in the eternal view I am inspired in knowing that every day is win-win; every day is a gift! I am inspired to make my life count. Indeed, the Psalmist continues:
“Teach us to count our days aright, that we may gain wisdom of heart… Fill us at daybreak with your love, that all our days we may sing for joy… Show your deeds to your servants, your glory to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God be ours. Prosper the work of our hands! Prosper the work of our hands!”
Psalms 90: 12, 14, 16, 17

And in today’s Gospel reading, Saint Luke recounts Our Lord’s instructions to the seventy-two disciples: Jesus tells them to heal the sick, and tell them:
“The Kingdom of God is at hand for you.”
--Luke 10: 9

Prosper the work of our hands, Lord! Prosper the work of our hands!
Saint Luke, pray for us!

See the Light

2006-09-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was thinking of a song from my youth. My Aunt Norma helped me with the lyrics; she found them on an old Ernest Tubb album. Norma told me she remembered lying on the floor as a little girl on Saturday nights, listening to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio. The song is called,
I SAW THE LIGHT:

"I wandered so aimless, life filled with sin,
I wouldn't let my dear Savior in,
Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night,
Praise the Lord, I saw the light."

Chorus:
"I saw the light, I saw the light,
No more darkness, no more night,
Now I'm so happy, no sorrow in sight,
Praise the Lord, I saw the light."

"Just like a blind man, I wandered alone,
Sorrows and troubles I claimed for my own,
Then like the blind man, God gave back his sight,
Praise the Lord, I saw the light."

"I was a fool who wandered and strayed,
But straight is the gate, and narrow the way,
Now I have traded the wrong for the right,
Praise the Lord, I saw the light."

I haven’t heard anyone say it in a long time, but when I was a boy, sometimes you might hear someone say, “I have seen the light.” I always took it to be a symbolic expression, a figure of speech, usually meaning the person had had a religious conversion. He or she had “seen the error of their ways” and were turning their life around. I wondered, though, if anyone had actually ever really seen a light.

The Acts of the Apostles tells the story of a Pharisee named Saul. The Pharisees were an order committed to strict observance of Jewish law.
“Now Saul, still breathing murderous threats against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, that, if he should find any men or women who belonged to the Way, he might bring them back to Jerusalem in chains. On his journey, as he was nearing Damascus, a light from the sky suddenly flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?"
He said, "Who are you, sir?"
The reply came, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do."
The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, for they heard the voice but could see no one. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him to Damascus.
For three days he was unable to see, and he neither ate nor drank.” (Chapter 9: 1-9)

The Lord appeared in a vision to a disciple named Ananias and sent him to Saul. Things like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he regained his sight and was baptized and was filled with the Holy Spirit.

Saul saw the light, “a great light…brighter than the sun,” and he changed; he became the Apostle Paul, the great evangelist.

I’m reminded of another expression: “I saw my life flash before my eyes!” This has come to mean that the individual has had a close call or a brush with death. It originates from the idea that when a person dies, in the matter of just a few seconds, he or she sees their entire life replayed before them.

I’ve read quite a few accounts of people who have had near-death or after-death experiences (and I’ve been blessed to have actually gotten to know a few of them personally). These are people who have literally died and been resuscitated, and their accounts very often include a life review. More that just a replay of one’s life, the individuals are made aware of all the good and all the wrong they have done in their lives. Sometimes these individuals state that they actually feel what the other person felt, all the pain they had caused! In these illuminations, they were seeing the state of their souls; they were seeing themselves the way God sees them.

After this life review, most near/after death accounts speak of a bright light. Many people see Jesus in this light, and many speak of the most incredible experience of love. “…for God is love.” (1 John 4: 8) And this experience isn’t limited to near-death experiences. I have one friend who experienced this while on retreat years ago. And like the Apostle Paul, my friend was changed; he became a new man.

One thing we can count on in this life is that, one day, each and every one of us is going to die. Perhaps many years from now, perhaps today…

Mirjana Soldo, one of the Medjugorje visionaries, states that unbelievers “…are wasting their lives on things they cannot keep. So many people today have made gods out of things, goals, and other people. For them there is only weeping and anguish because our life on earth is so short – so very short.”

And when we stand before Our Lord, when we see the life we have lived, everything revealed, what will we see? What gifts will we present to Him? One day, perhaps one day soon, each one of us will stand, our souls naked before the One who knew our names before we were born, and in the Light of Truth and Love and Mercy that is our God we will see our soul the way He sees it. Will it be a picture of one who put God in the first place by living a life of joyful sacrifice and service to others? Or will it be a picture of one who followed the selfish ways of the world?

I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. For by the grace given to me I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned.
--Paul’s Letter to the Romans 12: 1-3

The Door to Heaven

2006-09-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

I like to walk in the green belt near our house while praying the Rosary. One evening a few years ago, as I was walking and praying, I saw an incredible sunset. The sun was behind some towering clouds low in the western sky, and great shafts of light poured down through a hole in the clouds. I was reminded of a Family Circus cartoon I saw once, where the little girl was pointing to a very similar sunset, and she said, “Look Daddy, God left the door to Heaven open!”

As I walked along, praying and admiring Our Lord’s handiwork, the path came up behind some houses and my view of the sunset was obscured. It was still there, of course; I just couldn’t see it. After a short stretch, the path took a turn and I was able to see the sunset again. This happened several more times as I walked down the path which wound through the little trees and houses along the green belt: at times I could see the sunset; other times my view was blocked. It occurred to me that this was just like our spiritual journey. Sometimes we can see very clearly the Lord working in our lives; other times, we cannot feel His presence, and we find ourselves asking, “Are You there, God? Are You there?”

The thing to remember is that He is always there, even if we can’t feel His presence. We just need to keep trudging along, and one day we’ll turn a corner, and there we’ll find the door to Heaven opened.

On Sky

2006-08-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

We’ve been in the monsoon season here in Arizona the past month or so. Before moving here almost 25 years ago, I thought monsoon meant rainy season. Not here. In Arizona, monsoon means slightly lower temperatures with higher humidity. If we’re lucky, we get some rain, but more often we experience evening wind and dust storms, and some pretty incredible electrical displays. Personally, I don’t care for the humidity, but I do like the awesome, towering cloud formations.

One evening a few weeks back, we were praying our family Peace Rosary; I had a view of the sun going down in the western sky, and it was truly magnificent. Great shafts of light poured through breaks in the clouds painted with blue and red, gold, purple and pink. Then I noticed, silhouetted in front of the light streaming down, a cloud in the perfect shape of an angel; it reminded me of a little angel that goes on top of a Christmas tree! By the time we’d finished our Rosary, the little angel cloud was gone. I grabbed my camera and went out front, but the sun had set.

Another evening recently, riding the bus to the parking lot after work, I beheld another beautiful sunset. I noticed no one else on the bus seemed to appreciate it. A few people were busy talking on their cell phones, and the rest were chatting among themselves. No one else seemed to be aware of this incredible display right in front of them. Doesn’t anyone look to the sky in wonder anymore?

The heavens declare the glory of God; the sky proclaims its builder's craft. One day to the next conveys that message; one night to the next imparts that knowledge. There is no word or sound; no voice is heard;
--Psalm 19: 2-4

I am reminded of another sunset I saw last year. I was leaving work that day, and I felt the Lord speaking to me in my heart. What was He saying?

"Look at My beautiful Creation. I made this for your pleasure, but this is nothing compared to the beauty that awaits you in eternity with Me. Look at the beauty of My Creation. I want your heart to look like this. Worry will not make your heart look like this. Concern for material things will not make your heart look like this. Only love for all My children, your brothers and sisters, will make your heart as beautiful as this. When you are filled with My Love, when you give of yourself freely to your fellow human beings, then your heart will begin to be as beautiful as this sunset I have created for you. Ask Me for My Peace; ask Me to fill you with My Love; then others will see My Light pouring forth from your heart.”

A Father and His Children

2006-07-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

Isabella loves to help mix the pancakes...
and Isabella's daddy loves his children.

We can learn a lot about our place in this world from our relationships with each other, especially in our families. Take, for example, this experience my daughter and I shared a couple of weeks ago:

I got up that morning, made coffee and checked my email. Then I pumped up the tires on the jogger, grabbed my Rosary, and Isabella and I went for a walk before the day became too unbearably hot. We stopped at the neighborhood elementary school to have some fun on the playground, and we found a purple basketball left there. “A soccer ball!” exclaimed Isabella.

“It’s a basketball,” I replied. “You bounce it,” and I gently bounced the ball over to her.

Isabella looked at me and smiled her adorable, joyful, mischievous three-year-old smile, and she said, “No, you kick it!” Then she placed the ball on the ground, kicked it in the opposite direction, and ran off after it!

So much for listening to her father...

It always amazes me the pure joy I see on my little girl’s face as she runs through the grass, and it amazes me the joy I feel just being with her. That day we chased the purple ball around the schoolyard. Then Isabella found a stick lying on the ground, and the ball was forgotten for the time being. I let Isabella run around and pretty much do whatever she wanted. I was happy to let her be free, but she needs to learn to listen to her father and her mother…

A few months ago, Liane, the kids and I had just finished a dinner of fish tacos and cheese quesadillas at one of our favorite little strip-mall restaurants. We were walking back to our car when Isabella suddenly took off running into the parking lot! I caught her just as she came even with the rear bumper, and an instant later a car sped past! If I hadn’t grabbed her when I did, she would have run right in front of that car! I said a little thank you prayer to our guardian angels, for they were surely working overtime that day.

One day not too long ago, Liane was trying to explain something to Dusty, and the boy was arguing with his mother. “No Mom,” he said. “That’s not right.” Seven years old, and he thinks he knows more than his parents!

Sometimes, I have to make a really loud noise to get my children’s attention. For example, one evening not too long ago, Dusty and Isabella were running around the house, laughing and playing, kind of crazy, just being kids. “Okay,” I told them, “it’s time to settle down and get ready for bed.” They paid absolutely no attention to me. So I raised my voice a little, “Kids, it’s time to calm down.” Still they didn’t hear me. I raised my voice even higher, “Dusty and Isabella! It’s time to get ready for bed!” Even though I had spoken to them three times, they were so engrossed in their own business that they still did not hear me (or they simply chose to ignore me). So I very deliberately and forcefully brought my hands together and made a very loud CLAP!
Finally, I had their attention.

Children very often don’t listen to their parents. Sometimes it is out of rebelliousness—they think they know more than their parents. Other times, they just want to do whatever they want. Very often, they are not aware of the dangers around them, or they just don’t consider the consequences; they don’t think about the trouble they can get themselves into. And sometimes, they just plain give in to temptation. Our children very often don’t understand the reasons for our rules, and they’ll say, “That’s not fair!”

We adults are the same.

“Wait a minute!” you might be saying at this point. “We’re not children!”

Really? We tell ourselves, because we’re adults, that we’re smart enough to take care of ourselves. We can decide for ourselves what’s right and wrong. We don’t need anyone to tell us what to do. And what right does the Church have to tell us how to live? Maybe we don’t like the rules, and we think, “That’s not fair.”

I tell you the difference between God and us little human beings is infinitely greater than the difference between us and our children!
“…God, the Father, the Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, of all that is seen and unseen…”
By His Word He created the physical universe, time and space, light and darkness, and all life in all its myriad complexity. He gave us His Commandments to guide us in our lives. And He sent His Son to die for us. What does Jesus tell us to do? Keep the Commandments! And do the will of Our Father in Heaven!

You know, I would prefer that my children listen to me. I’d rather not have to repeat myself, and I would rather not have to raise my voice. I don’t like it when I have to punish my children… but that’s my job. As parents, we don’t make rules to be mean or controlling; we have rules to keep our children out of trouble and to teach them the right way! Without our protection and guidance, as well as our love and nurturing, our children would be lost. When my children choose to break the rules, they bring the punishment on themselves. It is the same for us.

It has been this way since the beginning. Adam and Eve gave into temptation; they disobeyed God’s law, and they separated themselves from God. We see it over and over again in Sacred Scripture: with Noah and the flood, at Sodom and Gomorrah, at Babel and at Nineveh. God gives us warnings—Our Father in Heaven loves His children and He wants us to choose the right way. It’s always the same: if we trust and obey, we will be blessed. But if we choose to go our own way, then any chastisements or destruction that comes, we bring upon ourselves.

There’s a lot of unrest in our world right now. We see it reflected in the upheaval in nature, and we’ve brought it upon ourselves. We’ve raped the Earth’s environment and exploited its resources. In recent years, there has been an increase in the number and intensity of natural disasters. These things have always existed, but even scientists are finding it hard to deny there has been an escalation. Perhaps our Father in Heaven is making a big noise… a Divine thunderclap if you will… Perhaps He is trying to get our attention.

For the past century, our Blessed Mother has been appearing in our world, reminding us that God exists, urging us to listen to Our Father in Heaven.

I remember reading that a favorite hymn in Medjugorje is THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC. I don’t know if that’s true, but recently, a friend reminded me of the lyrics:

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored…”

…the LORD roars from on high, from his holy dwelling he raises his voice; mightily he roars over the range, a shout like that of vintagers over the grapes.
--Jeremiah 25:30

You know, my children aren’t always happy with their mother and me. Well, it’s not about feeling—it’s about doing. And we need to learn to obey our Father in Heaven, even if we don’t always like or understand His rules.

All who have ears ought to hear.

Glory be to the Father!
And to the Son!
And to the Holy Spirit!
As it was in the beginning,
Is now and ever shall be,
World without end.
Amen. Amen.

Paying Attention

2006-07-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Our youngest son, Dustin Augustus, is starting to get a little better about sitting still in church. I still have to give him a gentle reminder every so often, and unless it’s a children’s Mass where the priest has a special homily for the children, Dusty isn’t really too focused on the Mass. His little head is filled with cartoons and video games and the business of seven-year-old boys, all the stuff of our modern, materialistic world that SEEMS more important and exciting than our relationship with our Lord.

Then one Sunday as Dusty was squirming in his seat, it occurred to me that we adults are just the same. How often during the Mass or during prayer do we lose our focus? Our mind wanders and we begin to think of errands that need to be run… Or maybe it’s our job… Or maybe a ballgame or movie…

And in our daily lives, what is it that consumes our thoughts? When we wake each morning, do we roll out of bed onto our knees and pray the prayer that Jesus prayed in the garden? “Not my will Father, but Your Will be done.”

Or do we get up without a thought for Our Lord, our minds already focused on our earthly pursuits of work, fun and entertainment? What are we paying attention to in our lives? What passions consume us? Our secular, materialistic society tells us that wealth and luxury, fun and personal achievement are what’s important. To your own self be true?

But Jesus told us, “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” He asks us to die to our selfish selves.

Who are we listening to? What consumes us? The messages of this world: wealth, luxury, fun, entertainment, self?

Our Father in Heaven sent His only begotten Son. Are we consumed with doing good and being good? Are we passionate about giving to the poor and feeding the hungry? Does the suffering in the world pierce our hearts?

Who are we paying attention to? To the messages of this earthly life which is temporary? Or to Our Father in Heaven Who offers us eternal life?

“Do we belong to the world?
Or do we belong to God?
May it be so.”
--Bishop Fulton Sheen

We need to pay attention to the Lord Our God! He has shown us the way!

Not my will Father, but Your Will be done.
Amen. Amen.

Blessed Mother

2006-06-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

A MOTHER’S ROLE
A woman becomes a mother by bringing a child into the world. This is meant to happen within the Sacrament of Marriage with a mother and a father who love each other the way God intended. But the work of a mother does not end when her baby is born; her work is just beginning. A mother loves and nurtures, protects and teaches her children. She wants only good for her children because she loves them.

God, in His great wisdom, uses us little human beings in His plan of salvation. The Virgin Mary was chosen from among all women to be the mother of Jesus, the mother of the Word made flesh. Mary bore Jesus in her womb for nine months; she is “theotokos” the God-bearer. Mary is the mother of Jesus, the mother of our Savior.
Holy Mary, Mother of God.

At Cana, Mary pointed the world to her Son when she told the servers, “Do whatever he tells you.” A good son, Jesus has obeyed the commandments and honored His Mother! This is a foreshadowing of the time – when on the cross – Jesus gives His Mother to all of us. And what does our Blessed Mother tell us to do? Do whatever Jesus tells us!

Throughout the centuries, Jesus has continued to send His Mother to the world, she made full of grace, who always leads us to her Son.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF A FEW SELECTED APPARITIONS OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY

Zaragossa

2006-06-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

According to tradition, the first apparition of the Blessed Mother occurred just seven years after the crucifixion of our Lord. The Apostle James was evangelizing in Spain. James and his companions had stopped at a quiet spot to rest one evening, and they had begun to pray when James was startled by heavenly music, the sound of angels chanting, “Ave Maria, gratia plena.” The Apostle fell to his knees and saw a radiant light. He beheld the Blessed Virgin Mary descending from the clouds, seated on a marble pillar and surrounded by two companies of angels.

What is the meaning of this first recorded apparition of Mary Most Holy? The Apostle was out following the direction of our Lord Jesus: preaching the gospel to the whole world. In this painting by Bouguereau, we have a vision of Mary before a marble throne, eyes cast downward in all humility and grace, presenting her Son. They are surrounded by angels adoring the Christ Child. To me, this is a message from Heaven, affirming the role Jesus gave to His Mother—bringing her Child to the world.

Guadalupe

2006-06-22T23:21:00.000-07:00

Christopher Columbus arrived in the new world in 1492. At that time, the Aztecs of Mexico were ruled by the sinister Montezuma and millions of people were sacrificed on the pyramids to pagan gods. In 1509, Montezuma’s sister, Princess Papantzin, had a vision. A glowing angel with a black cross on his forehead led the princess to the ocean shore. She saw ships, unlike any she has ever seen before, with black crosses emblazoned on their sails. The angel told her that her nation would be conquered and brought to the knowledge of the true God. Montezuma, respectful of prophecies, brooded upon hearing his sister’s dream.

Once the Spanish invasion began, conflicts were numerous and bloody, but Montezuma’s defeat was swift. Spain moved quickly to bring the Aztec people into the Christian faith. Missionaries were dispatched, and churches, schools and hospitals were opened. A distinguished scholar, Prior Juan Zumarraga, was appointed the first Bishop of the new world. Princess Papantzin, Montezuma’s sister, was one of the first Mexicans to be baptized Catholic, but there were very few conversions—the people were too set in their pagan ways. Bishop Zumarraga prayed to the Blessed Virgin Mary and asked her for a sign—Castilian roses…even though Castilian roses did not grow in Mexico.

In 1531, a 57-year-old peasant name Juan Diego was on his way to Mass. As he approached Tepeyac Hill, the site of a former pagan temple and of human sacrifice, Juan heard music like that of a celestial choir coming from a glowing white cloud and emitting a rainbow. He heard a voice call him by name, and he ran to the top of the hill where he beheld a beautiful glowing Lady. She told him she was the Virgin Mary, Mother of the True God. She instructed him to go to the house of the Bishop of Mexico City and to tell him that she wished for a temple to be built on that site.

Juan Diego rushed to Bishop Zumarraga’s house and told him all that he had seen and heard, but the Bishop did not believe him. Juan Diego started home, but Mary was waiting for him at Tepeyac. The Blessed Virgin urged Juan Diego to return to the Bishop and repeat her request.

The next day, Juan Diego returned to the Bishop’s house. This time, the Bishop interrogated him at length, and Juan Diego repeatedly recounted his story, consistently and without contradiction. The Bishop began to believe, but he told Juan that he would need a sign.

Juan Diego returned to Tepeyac Hill, followed by the Bishop’s spies, but as he reached the top of the hill, he disappeared from sight. The Bishop’s men left in frustration. Juan recounted the Bishop’s statement, and the radiant Virgin promised to deliver a sign the next day.

On the morning of Tuesday, December 12, 1531, Juan Diego faced a dilemma: his uncle was dying, and he needed to find a priest who could give last rites; but he had promised the Virgin that he would return to the Bishop’s. Juan decided to take an alternate route in order to avoid Tepeyac and find a priest, but the Mother of God intercepted him. Poor Juan explained, and the Blessed Mother comforted her son. She told him that his uncle was cured!

Juan Diego then rushed to Tepeyac Hill, and there he found the sign promised by the Virgin Mary—Castilian roses blooming in the frozen December soil! He gathered the flowers in his cape as instructed, and the Virgin herself arranged them!

Juan Diego returned to the Bishop. At first, he was detained, but then he was allowed an audience. He opened his cape to allow the flowers to fall out, and everyone present fell to their knees in awe. On Juan Diego’s cape, they beheld a miraculous image of the Blessed Virgin Mary! Within the next few years, over nine million Aztecs converted to Catholicism!

Juan Diego’s cloak has remained intact for almost 475 years! Scientists say the simple peasant tilma woven from cactus fibers should have disintegrated within about ten years.

Fatima

2006-06-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

On a rainy spring day in Portugal in 1916, three young cousins were tending their family’s sheep. Jacinta Marto, age 6, Francisco Marto, age 8, and Lucia Santo, age 9, took shelter from the rain in a cave. An angel appeared to them in a globe of light. The angel called himself “the Angel of Peace” and he asked the children to pray with him. He kneeled and he prayed this prayer which the children repeated after him three times:

“O my God, I believe, I adore, I hope and I love Thee. I beg pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope and do not love Thee.”

The angel appeared to the children two more times, and he encouraged them to pray and make sacrifices because God was offended by a sacrilegious and indifferent world.

Then on May 13, 1917, the children were again shepherding the family flocks when, above a small oak tree, they beheld a shining lady in a white dress, more beautiful than the angel. Lucia said that she was “a lady more brilliant than the sun.” The Lady told the children, “I come from Heaven.” She asked them to return on the 13th of each month until October, and then she would tell them who she was and what she wanted.

Word spread of what was happening, and on October 13, 1917, the Lady arrived for her final appearance. It had rained all the previous night, but 70,000 people had gathered and stood in ankle deep mud in the rain. It was just after noon when the Lady appeared to the children, and she told them: “I am the Lady of the Rosary. I have come to warn the faithful to amend their lives and to ask pardon for their sins. They must not offend Our Lord anymore, for He is already too grievously offended by the sins of men. People must say the Rosary. Let then continue saying it every day.”

Then the Lady of the Rosary pointed to the sky, and Lucia also pointed. The clouds parted, and everyone present saw the sun appear as a silver disk. They could gaze directly into it without burning their eyes. Then the sun began to whirl and throw off shafts of multicolored light. The sun repeated this a total of three times. Then a gasp rose from the crowd as the sun grew and appeared to be plummeting toward the earth. People fell to their knees in terror—some thought it was the end of the world. Then the sun returned to its normal position in the sky. When the people arose, they found that their muddy clothes were now clean and dry. Many sick and crippled people were miraculously cured that day.

Garabandal

2006-06-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

Between 1961 and 1965, the blessed Virgin appeared to four girls, ages eleven and twelve, in the beautiful mountain village of Garabandal, Spain. There were many miraculous physical phenomenon associated with the apparitions: these included ecstasies in which the girls were impervious to physical pain from extremely bright lights, pricks, burns and blows. It was impossible to distract them during the apparitions. Another phenomenon included running at great speed down the steep mountainside, even backwards, so that it was impossible for the astonished spectators to follow them. They did not seem to be subject to the law of gravity, but endowed with some sort of spiritual agility. Blessed Mother appeared to the girls as Our Lady of Carmel, wearing a white robe and blue mantle.

Our Lady gave the girls four messages for the world. Her first message was on October 18, 1961: “Many Sacrifices must be made. Much penance must be done. We must pay many visits to the Blessed Sacrament, but first of all we must be very good. If we do not do this, punishment awaits us. Already the cup is filling, and if we do not change we shall be punished.”

Her final message was on June 18, 1965: “Since my message of October 18, 1961 has not been complied with and has not been made much known to the world, I will tell you that this is the last one. Before, the chalice was filling. Now it is overflowing. Many Cardinals, many Bishops, and many Priests are on the path of perdition and they take many souls with them. To the Eucharist, there is given less and less importance. We should avoid the wrath of God on us by our good efforts. If you ask pardon with your sincere soul God will pardon you. It is I, your mother, who through the intercession of St. Michael, wish to say that you amend, that you are already in the last warnings and that I love you much and do not want your condemnation. Ask Us sincerely and we will give to you. You should sacrifice more. Think of the passion of Jesus.”

Medjugorje

2006-06-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

On June 24, 1981, Blessed Mother appeared again to six young people in the village of Medjugorje, Bosnia-Herzegovina (Yugoslavia at that time). Our Lady’s message is a call to conversion. She requests that we pray (especially the Rosary), and that we make reading the Bible part of our daily lives. She asks us to fast—to make small personal sacrifices in our daily lives that we may become the people we should be, more like Our Savior Himself. She asks us to go to monthly confession (if you are not Catholic, pray for forgiveness with a sincere heart) that we may reconcile ourselves with Our Father in Heaven. And Our Lady asks us to go to Mass often (weekly Worship services if you are not Catholic).

The 25-year anniversary of the first apparition of Our Lady in Medjugorje is upon us. Our Blessed Mother has been appearing every day for 25 years! This is unprecedented! Our Lady has been telling us this is a “time of grace.” For 25 years, Our Blessed Mother has been calling us. Our loving Mother in Heaven wishes to lead us back to Our Lord. We must ask ourselves, how much longer will this time of grace last?

In the past century, Our Lady has appeared in Fatima, Garabandal, Medjugorje and many other places. The Blessed Virgin comes for all mankind—she loves all her children. Blessed Mother wants to lead us back onto the right path. At Fatima, the children were shown a vision of hell. Many souls are on the wrong path, and our God does not wish any to be lost. This is why Jesus is sending His Mother, Our Mother, to call us. And always in her messages she greets us, “Dear children!”

At Garabandal, the girls were told of three events that will happen in the future: a Warning, a great Miracle and a Chastisement. And at Medjugorje, the visionaries have also been given ten secrets about the future. I believe these “secrets” contain both great graces from God and also chastisements for a sacrilegious and indifferent world. We can be certain that any chastisements that come we will have brought on ourselves. What is it that consumes our lives? Do we long for all that is good and right and just? Or do we chase after what is vain and selfish? Do we love truth? Or falsehood? Our Lady urges us to amend our lives. How long will this time of grace last?

As I have been writing this post, I have been reflecting on my own experiences in Medjugorje and the graces the good God and Our Lady gave to me. I remember the visionary Mirjana told us that she had been called to be a visionary. And she said that all of us pilgrims that had come to Medjugorje had been called to take the messages back home with us. I pray that God gives me the grace to answer well. Mirjana told us, “The most important message Our Lady has been repeating is the Holy Mass.” Emphasis on the Eucharist was a message at Fatima and Garabandal also.

Always Our Lady tells us to put God in the first place. Mirjana told us that, “This is the time of decision…” Are we deciding for God? Are we putting God in the first place?

Our Lady urges us to open our hearts and let Jesus in. Our Lady tells us to, “Pray, pray, pray!”

And so, I will end this post with prayer:
Come into our hearts, Lord; come into our hearts.
Come into our life, Lord; come into our life.

A prayer spoken by Father Jozo:
“Bless us. Save us.
Touch our hearts and souls.
Come, O Most Holy Spirit!
Come change us. Come Bless us.
Come give us new birth.
Take from us our heart of stone.
We need a new heart—
A heart that loves,
A heart that believes,
A heart that forgives,
Jesus’ Heart, a Christian heart.
Come, O Most Holy Spirit!
Awaken us. Change us.
Come, O Most Holy Spirit!
That we may become believers,
That we may become witnesses
Of a new better world.
Come, O Most Holy Spirit!
In Your name Jesus,
Amen.

MEMORARE
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of Virgins. My Mother, to you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen.

OUR LADY OF THE AMERICAS
by Reyes Ruiz

Blessed Mother,
She Who Has Been Made Full of Grace,
pray for us!
Our Lady of the Angels, pray for us!
Saint James the Apostle, pray for us!
Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us!
Our Lady, Patroness of the Americas,
pray for us!
Saint Juan Diego, pray for us!
Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us!
Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us!
Sister Lucia of Jesus and of the Immaculate Heart,
pray for us!
Our Lady of Carmel, pray for us!
Our Lady, Queen of Peace, pray for us!
Gospa Majka Moja, Kraljica Mira, moli za nas!

In the name of the Father
and the Son
and the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

A New Birth

2006-05-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

Early this morning, while Liane and the kids were still asleep and the house was quiet, I was lying in bed thinking about the birth of our first son, Johnny. His entry into this world was such a struggle. Liane labored through the day and night, and into the early hours of the next morning. She was exhausted. For a while it seemed like things were progressing well, but then progress stalled. Our son was stuck. Then the baby began to show the first signs of distress! Liane was rushed into the operating room for an unscheduled c-section.

There were a few tense moments right after the doctor pulled our little Johnny from out of his mother’s womb and the nurses worked feverishly to clear his little airway. Then I heard him begin to cry, and a few seconds (or minutes) later (I’m really not certain which), a nurse placed our baby boy into my arms for the first time. A new birth! I felt things I’d never dreamed of, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was forever changed. There was a new light in my life.

John Luc Bowles
1995 - 2001

If it wasn’t for my son’s short life, I wouldn’t be the man I am today, and I wouldn’t be delivering this message now.

I was thinking about another birth this morning—the birth of a new era. These are serious times we are living in; the world is in anguish, so to speak. So far in the first decade of this millennium, we’ve experienced a new level of terrorism since September 11, 2001, the Asian tsunami, Katrina and the other hurricanes that have ravaged the Gulf coast and Florida, the Pakistan earthquake, war in the Middle East, runaway debt, and skyrocketing gas prices. All of this is enough to cause despair if we place our hope in material prosperity.

These are serious times indeed, but I believe they are coming to an end. Not the end of the world, but the end of a Godless age. I believe there is a new time coming, the birth of an era of peace. It will be a time when people believe and trust in God. People’s desires will no longer be on acquiring wealth and fame, on easy living and personal entertainment. The main focus will be on taking care of each other and on leading holy lives. I believe it will be a time like none before, a period when the world will be very much like the way it is supposed to be. Oh, there will still be suffering and death—it’s still a fallen world—but people will understand the nature of their existence, and they will have peace and love.

These were my thoughts this morning. And then I read today’s Gospel reading:

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn,
while the world rejoices;
you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.
When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived;
but when she has given birth to a child,
she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy
that a child has been born into the world.
So you also are now in anguish.
But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice,
and no one will take your joy away from you
On that day you will not question me about anything.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”
—John 16: 20-23

I believe there is a new birth coming, the birth of a time of peace. But remember, before every birth there are labor pains. The turmoil and the anguish of our world the last few years are just the beginnings—the worst labor is yet to come. We should not despair over the times to come. Instead, right now, all of us should ask ourselves if we are living for the right reasons. Every day, are we taking the eternal view? Are we loving each other the way Jesus loves us?

All who have ears ought to hear.

The Eternal View

2006-05-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

I work in an ICU in a large hospital. I deal with suffering and death on almost a daily basis. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say, “Why him?” or “She was so young,” or “It’s not fair.” I once said these things myself.

“It’s not fair…”

No, life is not fair. We live in a fallen world where bad things happen to good people, and the wicked go about their business. As a boy, I can remember feeling incredulous whenever an adult would say, “Who told you life was fair?” But life isn’t fair, and our souls cry out whenever injustice or disaster strikes. Something inside us wants fairness; we long for justice, order and control. We want health and happiness, long life and prosperity. And when death strikes prematurely, we ask, “Why? Why?”

But I don’t believe people always looked at it this way. I have a friend: her name is Saint Therese of Lisieux—the Little Flower. She was a 19th century Carmelite nun, and her religious name was Sister Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face. She died at the age of 24 from tuberculosis. In her short life, she reached a spiritual maturity achieved by few, and she’s taught me a lot. I was studying a list of her family one day and found something very interesting: Therese was the youngest of nine children, and four of her sisters were Sisters. What struck me, though, was that Therese never knew three of her siblings. Her sister Helene died at the age of five-and-a-half, almost three years before Therese was born. And her two brothers, Joseph-Louis and Joseph-Jean-Baptiste, both died before their first birthday, before Therese was born. Three out of nine, one third, died as young children, and Therese never even met them! In today’s world, this would be considered a horrible tragedy, but I don’t think it was back then.

I did a little research: if we were living during the time of the Roman Empire, we could expect to live around 28 years. Today, in the early 21st century United States, the average life expectancy is around 77 years. This increase is due mainly to better sanitation and medical technology. A recent article reported on a conference on life expectancy and enhancement at Oxford University; the scientists gathered there believe average life expectancy will be extended to 112 years or more. One Cambridge scientist believes people can live 1,000 years using stem cells, gene therapy and other techniques! A quick internet search on “longevity” resulted in over 28 million links to sources for anti-aging clinics, human growth hormone, vitamins, antioxidants and other supplements. Long life is big business.

Don’t misunderstand me; there’s nothing wrong with wanting to live a long and healthy life—it’s normal to want that. But when it becomes an obsession, there’s a problem. This secular society we live in tells us that this life is all there is, and that’s it. If we believe that, then death becomes a bad thing. In times past, life was hard and often short, but people believed in God and trusted in the promise of eternity. Somewhere along the line, though, people began trusting in science, technology and modern medicine; men began trusting in their own abilities rather than in God. Again, don’t get me wrong, science and medicine are good (that’s how I make my living), but we need to remember who created the universe to begin with! Always, we need to put our faith in Him first. We should trust and obey our Father in Heaven.

But at some point, we little human beings began to question the very existence of God! Now, the message of this modern, irreverent world we live in says that, “There is no God (but we don’t need Him anyway because we’re going to find the fountain of youth).” I was once very much a part of that culture. I believed that if I exercised and ate the right foods and took the right vitamins, I would live a long and healthy life. I was in control of my own destiny. That’s all well and good until some drunk driver runs a red light and you’re in the middle of the intersection, or until a disgruntled coworker has a breakdown and brings an automatic weapon to the office and starts blasting away! Or maybe one day you find a lump in your breast…

The point is, none of us knows how long we’re going to be on this Earth; despite our best efforts, we may not have a long life. Remember, every day is a gift. A friend once said to me, “It doesn’t matter whether you live six years, or ninety, either way is a really short time compared to eternity.”

If we try to visualize this, we could imagine that our life on this Earth, no matter how long or how short, is a single, solitary point on a road that stretches into infinity. Our life is a mist, a puff of smoke, over in the blink of an eye…

But eternity is forever!

Our Lord said there are many rooms in His Father’s house; He promises every tear will be wiped away, and there will be no more crying or pain. We’re told that the human mind has not conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. The glory of Heaven is beyond what we can even imagine!

If we buy into the secular, atheistic perspective that this life is all there is, then misfortune and death become tragedy. If we live our lives this way, we teach our children that when these things happen, our lives are ruined. No wonder there is so much anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide. No wonder everyone’s rushing around chasing after prosperity and fun and entertainment, trying to create Heaven on Earth. But Jesus told us to seek first the Kingdom of God… and His Kingdom is not of this world.

If we believe in the promise of eternity in Heaven for those who love God, then illness, financial hardship, the loss of a spouse, or even the death of a child are no longer cause for despair. When we take the eternal view, we need not grieve like those who have no hope. When we take the eternal view, we can find peace and hope in the midst of the worst hardship or loss.

My friend Saint Therese understood this very well. In her autobiography, STORY OF A SOUL, she wrote, “I imagine I was born in a country that is covered in thick fog. I never had the experience of contemplating the joyful appearance of nature flooded and transformed by the brilliance of the sun. It is true that from childhood I heard people speak of these marvels, and I know that the country I am living in is not my true fatherland, and there is another I must long for without ceasing. This is not simply a story invented by someone living in the sad country where I am, but it is a reality, for the King of the Fatherland of the bright sun actually came and lived for thirty-three years in the land of darkness. Alas! The darkness did not understand that this Divine King was the Light of the world.”

So let all of us learn a lesson from my friend Saint Therese. Let us always take the eternal view and always remember to long without ceasing for the Kingdom of God!

Saint Therese, the Little Flower, pray for us!

Every Day

2006-04-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

A reflection written while on retreat this weekend:

The Shrine of Saint Joseph
Yarnel, Arizona

There was a time in my life when I believed, “All is suffering.” I did not think, “The worst is past and things will be better now.” Rather I thought, “What really bad thing will happen next?” Then I found peace, and hope, and love. Now I understand that every day is a gift.

This morning, I walked down to the shrine, and I sat in front of the statue of St. Joseph and the Child Jesus. The sunlight shined on the statue. St. Joseph appeared so strong. Little Jesus looked safe and so understanding. I prayed the Rosary, and little birds sang all around me. So beautiful, so peaceful. Then the wind blew and the trees shook. The sunlight reflected like gold on the oak leaves. A little bird, no bigger than my thumb, perched on a branch just beside me, and I marveled that the same God who by His Word created this massive, rocky mountain and the wind that blew through the trees and roared like the ocean, this same God created this delicate little creature next to me. I sang a little song to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I looked up, and just for a moment, the little child Jesus seemed to smile at me.

Now I am sitting on a great big rock on this mountain with the sun warming my back. In the distance, I hear a dog barking. The only other sound is the ebb and flow of the wind as it blows through the leaves of the stunted trees and bushes around me, at times gently rustling, then roaring. I look out at the massive boulders on this mountain, and I see such beauty—in my heart I feel such peace. And I know that God is God.

You don’t have to have terminal cancer to know that every day is win-win. Every day is a gift. When we rise each morning, it should be with the understanding that today might be our last, that this just might be the day that we go to eternity and we meet our God. Or it is another day to live, another day to try to do something good, another day to give of ourselves. Either way, we win.

Even though we have pain and suffering, even though it may seem like our world is falling to pieces, still I see the beauty on this mountain. Still I have peace.

This is my gift, I think—this understanding. Let me tell you about my peace. Let me tell you about the Light that shines in the darkness. Let me tell you about my hope: His name is Jesus the Nazorean.

Darrell's Picks

2006-04-12T11:49:00.000-07:00

What makes a great Christian movie? In my opinion, it doesn’t even have to be about God or religion. It needs to be about service, selflessness or sacrifice, or about the struggle to find Truth in a world that doesn’t always make sense. I’ve put together a pretty eclectic list that includes five Academy Award winners, one incredible film that was snubbed by Hollywood, two musicals, a western and an animated children’s movie. So here they are, in no particular order, my picks for twelve of the best Christian movies ever made.

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
Frank Capra’s 1947 Christmas Classic is quite possibly the best movie ever made. Aside from the character of the guardian angel, God and religion are not even mentioned in this film. Yet it presents a truly Catholic vision. We all make choices in this life, and those choices affect not only our own destinies, but those of every one around us. This is a portrait of a man who loves, and is loved.

THE SOUND OF MUSIC
This 1965 musical, based on the true story of the Von Trap Family Singers, takes place in 1930’s Austria, just as a great evil was loosed on the world. Maria, a novitiate nun, loves nature and music. Full of joy and love, this character’s spirit reminds me a great deal of Pope John Paul II. Maria struggles to choose between a Religious life within the closed walls of the abbey and a life in the world. Her Reverend Mother tells her, “What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love…You have to live the life you were born to live…Climb every mountain…”

ROMERO
I chose this movie not because I support liberation theology. I don’t. I do not believe violence is necessary for change. I chose this movie because it portrays what it means to be a disciple, and what that might cost. Archbishop Oscar Romero was a meek and bookish man, but in this 1989 film, we see what can happen when we say “yes” to allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF
This 1971 musical is the story of Tevye, a peasant Jew in turn-of-the-century Russia. Tevye lives a prayerful life as he goes about making a poor living – he talks to God about everything. He faces the struggles of everyday life, oppression, separation from his children and the loss of his home, but through it all, he has Tradition. The Jewish clothing, customs and ceremonies are outward signs; their Tradition is their Faith. As Tevye states, “Because of our Tradition, every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.” Now this is an understanding desperately needed in our time.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
Based on the Gospel account of the crucifixion and on the visions of Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich, Mel Gibson was inspired to make this 2004 film when a book of the stigmatic nun’s visions, “The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ,” fell on his head. An intense, gripping film, it is a meditation on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary and the Way of the Cross.
Lord, by your cross and resurrection, you have set us free.
You are the savior of the world.
Amen.

LILIES OF THE FIELD
Southern Baptist meets Roman Catholic in this 1963 study of the Providence of God. An itinerant handyman’s car overheats in the Arizona desert, near a convent of poor immigrant nuns of all places! The Mother Superior tells him that God sent him to her to build a chapel. He resists at first, but soon he single-handedly begins raising a chapel. But then something happens, something bigger than the handyman and the nuns, bigger than the entire community and their disillusioned priest, something bigger than all of us…

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
This was one of my favorite books as a boy. Back then, however, I didn’t recognize that it was chock full of Christian symbolism. Talking animals and mythical creatures abound in this 2005 version of C.S. Lewis’ classic children’s tale of love and sacrifice… and temptation. Turkish Delight is enough to tempt a child, but for adults there are other delights. I confess that I found myself strangely attracted to the White Witch. That’s the thing about evil; on the surface it often looks good.

THE SONG OF BERNADETTE
Inspiring and thought provoking, this 1943 film tells the true story of the apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary in 1858 to Bernadette Soubirous at Lourdes, France. The “beautiful lady” told Bernadette, “I do not promise to make you happy in this world, but in the next.” Not a popular message in our modern society where everyone thinks they deserve to be happy.
Our Lady the Immaculate Conception, pray for us!
Saint Bernadette, pray for us!

JONAH: A VEGGIE TALES MOVIE
I love this movie! I’ve watched it maybe a dozen times since its 2002 release, and I think I like it more than my kids do. Great animation, humor, and a really cool scene with some holy roller angels in the belly of a whale. Timeless messages from a book of sacred scripture: sometimes God asks us to do things we may not want to do, but we need to learn to trust and obey, even if we don’t understand. A truly relevant message for our world today – disobedience can lead to our own destruction. Finally, God is a God of mercy, but if we don’t apply that message to ourselves, then we don’t really get it: “Jonah was a prophet, but he never really got it.”

ANGEL AND THE BADMAN
I never would have believed that a John Wayne movie would make it on this list, but then I watched this 1947 western. A wounded outlaw is taken in by a Quaker family. Force yourself to sit through the overly dramatic acting and musical scores and you’ll watch an entertaining movie with a real message: “All men are good if they are shown the light…A man who is a friend to other men is a happy man himself.”

THE THIRD MIRACLE
In this 1999 film, a priest struggling with his faith is summoned to investigate the life and miracles surrounding an American laywoman being promoted for Sainthood. In a setting that portrays the fruits of our broken humanity in a fallen world, the priest searches for the truth. There are two scenes which I personally found to be very profound. Anyone who has ever struggled with their faith will appreciate the first scene. The priest goes to a friend in the confessional. “Where does faith go?” he asks. The priest cries out—he rages from the depths of his heart. There is nothing more sincere. “I just don’t want it to end up for nothing…I want it to be true.” I’ve been there.
In the second scene, our priest finds himself falling in love with the daughter of the woman he’s investigating. He comes close to breaking his vows, but then something happens. Coincidence? Or Providence? God always gives us just enough to continue to seek Him and to choose Him, without ever taking away our free will. And in the end, when we choose God, we find faith.

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS
We see real integrity, courage and faith in this 1966 portrayal of Sir Thomas More. He sacrifices everything rather than deny himself. I believe everyone needs to see this movie. I encourage you to check it out of the library or rent it. Even if you have already seen it, watch it again. And then we all need to ask ourselves what it is we believe. What do we stand for? And how far are we willing to go to stand up for what we believe? As events unfold in the coming years, we will be tested. If you are Catholic, will you be obedient to the teachings of the Church and to the directions of the Pope, even if they don’t fit into your idea of what the Church should be? We should look to the life of Thomas More as an example of what we should want to be and what we should be. And then each of us needs to examine ourselves carefully.
Saint Thomas More, pray for us!

Love is...

2006-03-24T16:26:00.000-08:00

We say it all the time: I love you… But what does that mean really? Probably most of us, when we hear those words – I love you – think of romantic love, a concept we probably developed from books and movies. This idea of being in love, where we become so enthralled with another person that our thoughts are consumed and all we can think about is being with the person we’re in love with. Romantic love is real, and it can be wonderful. It’s all about feelings and emotions. But that’s not what real love is. Love is not a warm fuzzy. Love is not about feelings.

One day not too long ago, I was standing in line to receive our Lord in Holy Communion. I had just been to confession, and I was thinking about how I was feeling. See how selfish I can be? I was thinking about myself instead of praying for others… Suddenly, I felt Jesus speaking to me in my heart: It’s not about feeling, it’s about doing.

Love is not about feelings. Real love is about giving and sacrifice.

Love is smiling at a passing stranger.

Love is giving up a lucrative career to be a stay-at-home mom.

Love is spending less time at the gym or playing in a racquetball league and spending more time playing tag with the kids in the back yard.

Love is getting up at two in the morning with a sick child when you haven’t slept in two days.

Love is spending less on your clothes, hair, and makeup or eating out and using the money you saved to support a child in a third world country.

Love is slowing down on the freeway to let that other driver in front of you.

Love is a young Marine throwing himself on a live grenade to save the lives of his comrades.

Love is giving up the craft room or home gym you had planned for the kid’s bedrooms now that they’re off to college and taking in foster children instead.

Love is giving up another trip to Medjugorje and paying to send someone else who really wants to go but can’t afford to.

Love is driving an economy car instead of a luxury sedan or tricked out SUV and giving the money you save to the local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

Love is spending less time at happy hour or shopping and spending more time volunteering at the local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

Love is about sacrifice, and if we are not giving until it hurts, then it is not sacrifice.

THE CORPORAL WORKS OF MERCY
Feed the hungry.
Give drink to the thirsty.
Give clothing to the naked.
Shelter the homeless.
Care for the sick.
Visit the imprisoned.
Bury the dead.

The Way of Love

2006-03-24T16:19:00.000-08:00

If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present, we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
--I Corinthians 13

Isabella's Birthday

2006-03-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

Reflections written on my daughter's birthday last year:

Sunday, May 22, 2005
The Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity

06:30

Today my little daughter Isabella is two years old. I thank God for entrusting this beautiful little girl into my care, and I pray that He gives me the grace to be the father Isabella needs me to be. I sipped my coffee and read today's first reading from Exodus: "Early in the morning Moses went up Mount Sinai," and I thought of Cross Mountain in Medjugorje and I thought of the Third Secret of Fatima, of our daily struggle of conversion...

[time to get ready for Mass]

Tuesday, May 24

...Over 15 years ago, I climbed Mount Humphrey in northern Arizona. The summit is around 13,000 feet. At that time in my life, I was living a secular and sinful life. I had pretty much rejected the Christian faith I had been brought up to believe in, and I had embraced the lies of the world. This spirit of relativism and secular humanism which tells us that we don't need God and to trust in our own abilities, to decide for ourselves what is right and wrong. The problem with this is that no one seems to agree on what is right and wrong. The problem with trusting in yourself is that it is easy to confuse what is right with what looks appealing. One can rationalize just about anything. So I was living for myself. I was concerned only with my own happiness and didn't feel I owed anyone anything. In retrospect, I can see how this was part of my struggle of conversion. This is the same struggle that Adam and Eve faced, the same struggle that every man and woman has faced every day since then: the daily struggle of choosing to follow our own selfish desires or choosing to follow God and do what is right, even if it isn't always fun, even if we sometimes don't understand. Even if it is sometimes painful...

"Early in the morning Moses went up Mount Sinai."

My journey up Mount Humphrey began when my girlfriend and I decided we wanted to climb it. So we packed up some camping gear one weekend and headed north. We left the bright lights and tall buildings, the expensive homes and fancy cars, (and the not so expensive homes and the beat up old junkers), the restaurants, bars, theaters and massage parlors, the bookstores and the car dealerships, the busy streets and the pollution and noise, all the hustle and bustle of civilization, and we headed into the wilderness. It took some time just to get out of the city, fighting the heavy Friday afternoon traffic, with everyone rushing about, eager to leave their hectic work week behind and begin their weekends jam-packed full of entertainment and fun. But soon enough, we left the city behind and drove into the desert. We went northward, climbing steadily. That night, we camped in the forest at an elevation of around 9000 feet.

"Early in the morning Moses went up Mount Sinai."

Early the next morning we began hiking up the mountain. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining with only scattered clouds in a clear blue sky. My girlfriend and I were alone in the forest. At first, the trail was well worn and not too difficult. At times we chatted, but mostly we just walked, keeping a brisk pace, intent on our goal of reaching the summit. For a long time, we were unable to see the mountain top -- all we could see were the trees of the forest. The two of us seemed to be alone on the mountain. As we climbed higher the mountain became steeper. All at once, the trees ended and above us we saw grass- covered slopes. When we had climbed above the tree line, we turned around to see an incredible vista. We could see for miles and miles in the clear, clean air. It was truly incredible! Next, the grassy slope gave way to large, jumbled black rocks, and the climbing became much more challenging. We had to carefully choose each step, paying close attention so as not to fall or step into a crack and break an ankle. The climbing on the approach to the summit was the steepest and most difficult. At the top, we met other climbers who had come up the other side of the mountain. Someone had brought along a bottle of champagne to celebrate, and we toasted our success. I stood on top of the mountain and turned to look in every direction. The view was indescribable! We had been there only a few minutes when we noticed dark clouds rolling in. Hail stones began to fall, and lightening flashed all around us. We came down off the mountain.

Most of us don't live on mountaintops where we can see for incredible distances; most of us live in the valleys, and often we can't see beyond the business (busy-ness) of our own personal lives...

Friday, May 27

...Our struggle of daily conversion is like climbing a mountain, the Mountain of God, and it is so very hard to see the Truth when we are surrounded by a world of lies. We who live in the 21st century United States live in a secular and highly technological society. We enjoy a prosperity that most of the world can only dream about. Every day we are blasted with messages supporting our materialistic lifestyle. My little children watch their kids shows on TV, and when the commercials come on I hear them say, "I want that. I want that." And we adults are no better. We want our boats, motorcycles, campers and vacation homes. We tell ourselves, "All I need is a new car or a bigger house, and then I'll be happy." We complain that we don't get paid enough. We put ourselves into debt, and then we complain that, "We just can't seem to get ahead."

And materialism isn't the only lie. Only yesterday, I heard a man speak about lies. This was an intelligent man, a world class scientist who worked in aviation development. He shared how as a young man in the university, he was taught that belief in a Creator was not compatible with science, and he shared how this had caused him to lose his faith. Another lie -- this message that we should trust in science and our technology, that through our own efforts we can solve all the world's problems, that there is no God...

If we are so focused on our work and on our play that there isn't time to think to climb up onto the rooftops and to peer through the smog of the busy-ness and noise of the cities in which we live and to gaze into the distance beyond, then how can we see the mountains in the distance? So perhaps the first step is recognizing that there is actually a mountain to be climbed, in seeing through this construction of the busy pursuit of material things and achievement and entertainment that is our personal lives.

Tuesday, May 31
The Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary

"Early in the morning Moses went up Mount Sinai."

I started this letter over a week ago, on my little daughter's birthday, and when I read the first scripture reading on that Sunday morning, the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity, I thought of the mountains in our lives and of my own struggle of conversion. I thought of how God can bring good out of any situation. In my own life, out of the waywardness and arrogance of my youth, He led me to faith; and out of the depths of the most incredible grief after the death of my son, He entrusted the care of a precious little girl to me and Liane.

Yesterday, I read the words of Sister Emmanuel Maillard, words which echoed my own thoughts, spoken the day after Isabella's birthday: "People just want to feel good, and that is wrong. That is not the Gospel. We have got to find Jesus and be holy." Surely, the Holy Spirit is shouting this message to all the world, for all who have ears to hear!

We have to see through the struggle within ourselves, through our own selfish desires. And we have to see through the busy-ness and noise of the world, through the materialism and relativism. Just as the ancient Israelites wandered in the desert in their sin and wickedness, so too are we wandering in a modern desert of sin and wickedness and lies. And if we choose, we can see through the lies and glimpse the Truth. Like Moses, we can see that the Lord is, "a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, and rich in kindness and fidelity." And if we glimpse this Truth, we can decide to climb the Mountain of God. There may be times when we cannot see the mountain, but we trust that it is there. Some days, the climb will be steep, and we may wonder if we will ever make it. The higher we go, the tougher the climb; but the higher we go, the farther and more clearly we can see!

When I stood on the summit of Mount Humphrey many years ago, I gazed into unknown distances and witnessed the awesome and fearful fury of nature. Now my soul has glimpsed the power and glory of the Mighty God who by His Word created all that I beheld, and all that I did not...

This morning at Mass, I reflected on the fact that even though I have been given graces, even though I have been granted some small insights, even though I want so much to do God's will and it seems I have climbed so far, still there are days when I stumble and fall. And I realized that it is when we stumble and fall that we truly understand how very much we need the good and merciful God!

In the second reading on Isabella's birthday, in 2 Corinthians, we are instructed to "live in peace" and to "encourage one another." And that is why I am writing these words to you, my friends, in the hope that they will give you encouragement. My friend, Saint Therese, the Little Flower, taught me about "spiritual charity." If we are given some small insight or grace, it belongs to the Holy Spirit. They are meant for all.

Lord God, You are great and merciful.
We need your mercy O God!
Do not let us be a "stiff-necked" people.
Help us, O God, to see through the lies of this world.
Help us to see Your Truth!
Fill us with Your Light.
Fill us with Your Truth.
Fill us with Your Peace.
Have mercy on us, O Lord,
Have mercy on us.

Teach us to praise You, O Lord.
Praise You Jesus!
My Lord and my God!
Praise You Jesus!

Teach us to love, O God.
Teach us to know what it means
to believe in the name of the only Son of God --
teach us to live our faith.

Give us the Grace, O God, to keep Your commandments.
Give us charitable hearts.
Give us the Grace to turn away from evil.
Give us contrite hearts.
Give us the Grace, O God,
to give up everything and to follow You.

Give us the Grace to bear fruit.

Give us the Grace to be fervent in spirit,
rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, and persevere in prayer.
Give us the Grace to forgive,
so that we may be forgiven.
Give us the faith of a mustard seed!
Give us the faith to move mountains!

Help us, O God, to see through the lies of this world.
Help us, O God, to see how very, very much we need you!
Help us to see Your Truth, O God!
Help us to climb your mountain, O God!

In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

My Pilgrimage to Medjugorje

2006-03-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

An account of my pilgrimage in October 2004, written several months later:

Amazingly, I first learned of Medjugorje less than three years ago. My friend Barb was sharing her conversion story: a lapsed Catholic, Barb had become involved in New Age and crystals. Someone had given Barb a book to read, and as she read it, she said that she knew that it was true. Barb came back to the church. The book was Medjugorje: The Message by Wayne Weible. I went out and bought the book the next day. After reading the book, I thought that Medjugorje was an example of what the whole world is supposed to be like. Now that I’ve been there, I am even more convinced that this is true. I also believe that the whole world not only can be like Medjugorje, but that some day it will be.

Very briefly, for those who haven’t heard of Medjugorje or don’t know what is happening there: in 1981, in the village of Medjugorje in Bosnia-Herzegovina, formerly Yugoslavia, the Blessed Virgin Mary began appearing to a group of children. Her message:

“I have come to tell you that God exists, and He loves you.”

I’m not going to go over the history of Medjugorje or what has been happening there since the apparitions began, because there are books and web sites that do this well. I will say that the people of this region were a people of strong faith, and they were persecuted and suffered because of it. Also, since the apparitions began, millions of people have gone to Medjugorje, and there have been many, many conversions and miraculous healings.

My pilgrimage really began back when I first learned of Medjugorje. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that the good God is in control; that He is continually calling us and guiding us and leading us; that He responds to each of us individually, always doing what is best for us depending on where we are at in our individual struggle of faith. He does this without ever interfering with our free will. How this is possible is beyond all human understanding, which is limited. So my meeting Barb was no accident – it was part of God’s design, part of Our Lady’s plan. I was called.

I knew I wanted to go after reading Wayne Weible’s book. At one point, I decided that I wasn’t going to go until I could take my family with me. But my wife Liane wasn’t feeling called, and the kids were really still too young. More and more lately, I had been feeling a sense of urgency in my heart, and when I learned that two friends from St. Timothy’s were going, I called that same day and paid my deposit.

There were many graces on my pilgrimage, but the first I received before ever leaving home. (In order to share this with you, I must tell you that my grandmother died about three-and-a-half years ago.) Four days before I was to leave, I was out running errands. I had been trying to decide how much money to take with me, and I finally decided on a figure. But I ran out of time that day and never made it to the bank. When I got home that evening, there was a letter from my Aunt Norma in Virginia. She wrote that she had finally settled my grandmother’s estate and sold her house. Aunt Norma said she was sending something to all the grandchildren. With the letter was a check for the exact amount I had planned on withdrawing from the bank that day!

The trip over was long and tiring. I met my friend Gary at his house at 5:00am to catch a ride to the airport. We knew that two other people from our parish were going as part of our group, but we didn’t know who. While standing in line, I recognized Karen who I had met on retreat once, and I met Sue, who I had seen at Mass but never met. I don’t remember anything about the four-hour flight to Washington.

Once we arrived at the Dulles airport, we quickly searched the monitors for our next flight and went straight to the terminal. There we met up with many others of our group who had already arrived. There would be a total of 34 of us: four of us from Arizona; California had the largest contingent with 12; Louisiana was a close second with 10; there was a couple from Washington, and individuals from New Hampshire, Massachusetts, South Dakota, Florida and Texas. A priest would be accompanying us on this trip: Father Ron, who works in the prison system in California.

The eight-hour overnight flight to Vienna was… uncomfortable. My friend Gary and I were seated next to each other. We are both big men with long legs and wide shoulders. My 2X-size body just didn’t fit into those small seats. It was very cramped. I did manage to get maybe three hours of sleep, but I was so grateful when our plane landed and I could stretch.

We had about a three-hour layover in Vienna. We prayed our first Rosary together as a group in the little airport chapel, and then Father Ron celebrated Mass. After that, we just hung out until it was time to board our next flight. I briefly browsed through the airport shops which really held no interest for me. I couldn’t sit in the dining area because everybody in Europe smokes! I was starting to feel pretty exhausted and decided to get a coffee, and found a seat as far from the smokers as possible. The flight from Vienna to Sarajevo was only one hour and 15 minutes, but I think I fell asleep as soon as I buckled my seatbelt.

The final leg of our journey was a three-hour bus ride to Medjugorje. We were introduced to our English-speaking guide, Miki. He led us in praying another Rosary and told us about the history of his country as we went along. I was charmed to see a flock of sheep in the grassy area of a cloverleaf near the airport. I was surprised that the mountains around Sarajevo looked very much like the area where I lived as a teenager in western Virginia. There was still plenty of evidence left from the war: rubble left from buildings and also many older buildings marked by bullet holes. But there was also plenty of new construction. Our glimpse of Sarajevo, with its modern, high rise buildings was quickly left behind and replaced by a rural landscape. I saw a simply dressed people tending sheep and gardens, chopping wood and building new houses and bridges. Most of the work was being done by hand.

I remember seeing only one billboard--a picture of an attractive, young woman in lingerie. I don’t know what it was supposed to be selling, but the message was universal -- the lies of the world: preoccupation with acquiring material things and wealth; preoccupation with personal image – looking young and attractive; preoccupation with entertainment and partying and promiscuous sex and having a good time; a philosophy of feeling good rather than being good and doing good; the spirit of relativism where one decides “what’s right for me” rather than the belief in universal truths and a sense of duty to one’s fellow human beings and obedience to God’s laws. The billboard was like one last reminder of the world we were leaving, and I was happy to be leaving it behind.

The mountains became steeper and higher, with rocky crags and escarpments on top. It was really quite beautiful. After a while, the mountains were lower again, and the terrain was very rocky. It was dark by the time we reached Medjugorje, and I really could not see much out the bus windows.

We arrived at our destination, the home of Mirjana, one of the visionaries. All the pilgrims in our group stayed in Mirjana’s home or in her brother Miro’s home next door. Mirjana had a large, multi-level house. However, Mirjana and her family live in a small apartment in the house; the rest of her home--a kitchen and dining room and bedrooms--are for the pilgrims. We unloaded our luggage from the bus, and Lynn made room assignments. Gary and I shared a room in Miro’s house. It was small, with a pair of twin beds, a wardrobe and a small private bath. The walls were bare except for a coat rack and a single crucifix. It was like what I had always imagined a cell in a monastery or convent must be like. I thought it was perfect.

After quickly storing our bags in our rooms, we all gathered in Mirjana’s basement dining room for our first meal together in Medjugorje. The food was simple but delicious, and there was always plenty to eat. The evening meals always started with soup, and there was always bread and wine on the table, and water (with and without gas). Mirjana helped to serve most of our meals. That first evening, someone commented that a visionary should not be serving us, and Mirjana spoke to us using our guide Miki as an interpreter (although Mirjana speaks very good English). Mirjana welcomed us to her home, and she said that we were all the same. She explained that we had all been called: she had been chosen as a visionary, and we had been called to come to Medjugorje and to take Our Lady’s messages back to the world. We pilgrims had left our homes and families and country and traveled a long way to answer this call, and so it was in no way inappropriate for Mirjana to be serving us.

I was given a truly incredible grace the very next morning. After breakfast, we set off for the English Mass at St. James Church. Some of our group took taxis, but the rest of us chose to walk through the fields. I came to love walking through the villages and vineyards.

As a group of us stood in front of the church before Mass, someone said they could see the Miracle of the Sun. The Miracle of the Sun is a phenomenon that occurs in Medjugorje where one can look directly into the sun without burning your eyes. The sun appears to dance in the sky; it spins and pulsates and shoots off colors. This of course is physically impossible, but countless people have seen it. I looked up, and I did see colors emanating from the sun. It was incredibly bright, however, and my eyes began to water profusely, so I looked away. The feeling this produced inside of me is difficult to describe. I sensed that my eyes had been healed, not that there has ever been anything wrong with my eyes--I have always had excellent vision. I know this doesn’t make any sense, but that is what I felt.

Then I looked out at the area in front of the church, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything was bathed in a reddish-gold light! There is a white marble statue of the Blessed Virgin in front of the church; only now the statue was a gold color! I looked around for other white objects to see if they were a different color, but all other white objects were still white. Everything was bathed in this light, but only the statue of Our Lady had changed color. I doubted what I was seeing. I thought that possibly I had damaged my eyes when I looked at the sun and blood was flooding my retinas in an inflammatory response, and that this was causing a visual disturbance, causing the reddish color. But that wouldn’t explain why only the statue of Our Lady had changed to a gold color. When I came back outside after Mass, everything looked normal again. I have seen the Miracle of the Sun numerous times since then, but have not since seen what I saw that morning.

I really did not understand the significance of my vision at the time. Weeks later, at home in Arizona, while reading and again during Mass one day, I recognized references to this scripture:

A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars.
--Revelation 12: 1

Only now as I write these words has something else occurred to me. So often, unbelievers will say that they can believe only what they see. But how often do we doubt our own eyes? What will it take before we all fall down on our knees, and like St. Thomas the Apostle, we cry out, “My Lord and my God!”

We traveled by bus to the parish of Our Lady of the Assumption in the village of Siroki Brijeg. We learned that 30 priests had been executed there by the communists for refusing to renounce their Faith, and we saw the cave next to the church where the communists tossed the priest’s bodies and burned them. In the chapel, we prayed the rosary. Father Jozo Zovko spoke to us of the cross and of marriage and family. He spoke to us of a wonderful wedding ceremony involving the cross. He spoke of how the cross and the marriage are vitally connected, of how family and God are vitally connected. In Catholic Bosnia, there is no divorce – it is virtually non-existent!

Southwest of St. James Church is a large bronze statue, The Statue of the Risen Savior. On the ground lies a cross, and from the foot of the cross Jesus is rising up. On the loincloth, the Latin words Resurrexi et adhuc tecum sum alleluia Psalm 138 are repeated continuously, translated: I arose and am still with you Alleluia! I must admit, the first time I saw a picture of the statue, I did not think it was very attractive.

On June 25, 2001, the anniversary date of the first apparitions of Our Blessed Mother in Medjugorje, the Statue of the Risen Savior miraculously started weeping! Now I stood beside the statue and watched as drops of clear fluid formed on the side of the right knee and dripped down the leg. I collected a drop on my fingertip and rubbed it between my fingers. People reverently collected the tears with handkerchiefs or other cloths. The bronze statue was an oxidized dark gray-green color, but the area on the side of the knee where the tears formed and the leg below were bright, shiny bronze and golden.

In addition to the Mass in English every morning, we also attended the evening services in Croatian. So many people attend the evening prayers that the inside of St. James Church is packed. There are rows and rows of benches outside on both sides of the church, and the services are played over loudspeakers. Contrary to what one might expect, absolutely nothing is lost by participating in the prayers and Mass outside. In fact, I thought it was beautiful to be sitting outside under the stars feeling the cool breeze. At 5:00pm was the Rosary. It did not take long to be able to pray along in English. At 6:00pm was the Mass, and at 7:00pm was more prayer, either Adoration or Veneration of the Cross or another Rosary. Also, Marija is one of the visionaries who lives in Medjugorje and still has apparitions at 5:40pm every day. At this time the bells in St. James Church are rung, and everyone kneels and prays in silence.

One evening after we had been there a few days, I found myself alone during the evening prayers; I was sitting outside St. James on one of the benches. As we prayed the Rosary, I suddenly started to pray in my heart that when the time came for Marija’s apparition, that I would be able to feel Our Lady’s presence. I did not ask to see her or for her to speak to me, but only that I would be able to know that she was there and feel her presence in some way of her choosing. The whole time we were praying the Rosary, I was praying this in my heart.

When the bells rang at the time of the apparition, I fell to my knees. Just at this moment, a gust of wind hit my face and I felt my heart beating very rapidly. I thought to myself that I had not expected to feel my heart thumping in my chest, but that this could be explained away as just excitement. Then I was surrounded by the scent of roses! I opened my eyes and looked around me to see if perhaps a woman wearing rose perfume had come up next to me, but there was no one there. I was alone in front of the bench and there was no one on the bench behind me. I was completely engulfed in the beautiful smell of roses!

Most nights after the evening prayers, many of our group would meet at Colombo’s, a restaurant near St. James Church. We ate pizza or shared ice cream sundaes, and we sipped coffee or drank wine or delicious Croatian beer. We talked and we laughed and we shared our stories. This was a grace I had not anticipated on this trip – we were just plain having a good time!

One night after the evening prayer, I didn’t feel like going to Colombo’s, and so I found myself alone, walking toward the Statue of the Risen Savior. As I approached the statue, I saw that there were only a few other people there, a half-dozen at most. All was silence. The feeling after dark was very different than it had been during the day. I approached the statue, and again I watched the tears roll down the leg. I touched the shiny wet metal, and I made the sign of the cross. I sat with the other pilgrims there, and in silence we prayed to our God. I felt His presence. A light rain began to fall.

I walked back to Mirjana’s house, praying the Rosary. Lost in contemplation, I missed the turn for the path that cuts through the fields. I made an attempt to go back and find the path, but I was totally turned around. So I ended up walking the long way through the village. At one point, I saw a young couple sitting on a low stone wall up ahead. I thought to myself, “There’s a young couple in love.” As I approached, I saw the Rosary in their hands.

A little further up the street, I saw a group of people coming out of a building, and a little past that I could see a large group of people walking toward us. I heard an Italian accent as someone from the first group asked, “Where are you from?”

“We’ve just been on the Cross Mountain,” a large man in the second group answered. He seemed to be their leader.

“No, no.” the Italian responded. “Where is it you are from? Where do you live?”

“Africa.” The large man said. I heard excited voices as the two groups came together; individuals greeted each other warmly and the two groups merged into one. Strangers moments before, now they were brothers and sisters. I smiled and walked on.

Above Medjugorje is Krizevac (Cross Mountain). In 1934 the villagers built a large concrete cross on the top of the mountain. They carried all the materials up a steep, rocky path by hand to show their devotion to God. On Sunday morning, we climbed the mountain. Hundreds of people were climbing the mountain that day. There were old people and crippled people who needed the help of those younger and stronger to make it. Some climbed the steep, rocky path barefoot as an act of penance or sacrifice, and there was no shortage of those eager to help their brothers and sisters. We prayed every step of the way.

One evening after adoration, I was invited to go to the Statue of the Risen Savior with some other members of the group, and we had a very different experience that night. We looked in wonder as the fluid formed and rolled down the leg, and I boosted up some of the shorter women so they could collect the tears on handkerchiefs. A fairly large group of Italians arrived, and I watched one man taking his guitar out of its case. The man began to play and sing quietly. Others joined in, and something incredible happened. Everyone was singing to Jesus and praising Jesus. Some of the women began to come up and kiss the feet of the Risen Savior. I saw one tall, lanky man with soulful eyes drape his arms across the base of the statue. I thought that maybe he was being a bit dramatic and putting on a show, but perhaps he was truly moved to express himself this way. Who am I to judge? Now everyone was clapping and waving their arms and singing to Jesus. I saw one young man sitting with tears streaming down his face. I looked and saw two women from our group standing and praying, their hands opened to the heavens. I stood there taking it all in, and I was filled with joy.

An American woman not from our group whom we had met at Colombo’s arrived. She came up to me and touched my hand, and she looked at me as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. I smiled. After a while, I went over to the others in our group, and I exclaimed, “I’m so full of joy I’m going to explode!” We walked home through the fields, praying the Rosary. Gary was still awake when I got back to our room, and I joked that I had planned on waking him up. For a while, I laid in bed with an uncontrollable case of the giggles.

One afternoon, a group of us were walking through the fields on our way to evening prayers. We had spread out a bit as some were stopping to look at some of the hand-embroidered linens and other items the locals sold in makeshift stands along the path. I suddenly had a strong feeling inside that I should turn and look at the sun. I turned and looked, and there it was – the Miracle of the Sun. I saw what looked like a Host (a communion wafer) directly in front of the sun, creating an effect like a total eclipse of the sun. There was a fiery aura around the Host, and the sun appeared to be bouncing back and forth with colors all around. Everyone present in our group saw it, and the villagers there smiled and nodded their heads yes when asked if they saw it too.

At some point a day or two before we were to leave, I realized that our time in Medjugorje was passing quickly. In the accounts I’ve read of near death experiences, where people have died and been brought back to life, these people who have seen Jesus or Mary or angels almost always report that they didn’t want to come back. Often they pleaded not to come back. Now I understood. Medjugorje isn’t Heaven, but I think it’s the closest thing there is on earth. It’s still part of a fallen world – people still suffer and die. But the peace and joy I experienced there… Someone said being in Medjugorje was like being inside of a prayer. But I knew we would have to leave.

Another of the visionaries, Ivan, who now lives in Boston, happened to come to Medjugorje on personal business while we were there. Ivan still receives daily apparitions. On the afternoon of November 1st, we went to the “yellow building” behind St. James Church to hear Ivan speak. He said Our Lady has given us many messages over the past 23 years and that he would speak of the main messages. When Our Lady first appeared, she called herself the Queen of Peace. From the beginning, her message was, “Peace, peace, peace!” We must be at peace with God, peace with ourselves, peace with our families, and peace with each other. Our Lady’s message has been peace, conversion, prayer, hope and love. Ivan shared that being with Our Lady was like being in the Light of Heaven, and that every day for 23 years, it was hard for him to return and accept the reality of this earthly existence. He said that for him, as for all of us, the messages have been a call to conversion, which is a daily process – we all must decide every day for God. When he was finished speaking, Ivan announced that Our Lady had told him there would be an extraordinary apparition that night at the Blue Cross on Apparition Hill, the hill where the Blessed Virgin first appeared to the children.

That night I went outside and was walking in the street in front of Mirjana’s house, just kind of hanging out waiting for some of the others. I happened to look up and what I saw stopped me dead in my tracks. The moon was incredible. The moon had a ring around it. Now, I had seen the moon with a ring around it before, but I’d never seen a moon like this before. Not only was there a ring around it, but there was a blue and purple aura. It was incredible! In the silence of that empty street, in the silence of my heart, I felt a peace that was truly supernatural. I felt the same Presence that I felt a few nights earlier at the Statue of the Risen Savior, the same Presence that I feel in a quiet church or adoration chapel.

We went to the Apparition Hill which was already crowded, and we climbed up the path in the dark. The only sounds were the whisperings of people talking quietly and of rocks clattering as people climbed and found a place among the sea of Italians and Irish and American and Croatian and brothers and sisters of many nations on the rocky hillside. I shined my light on the path and watched two men carry an old priest in a chair up the rocky slope. No one fell and no one broke an ankle in the dark on that incredibly rocky hillside.

After a while, we saw a small car drive up the bottom of the hill. Ivan had arrived. Soon the sound of murmuring was heard on the hillside, and the murmuring grew louder as we began to pray the Rosary in different languages. I listened intently to follow the rhythm. All was prayer.

A gust of wind hit my face. The crowd became quiet. The apparition had begun. The silence was broken by a crying or wailing sound from somewhere on the hillside above us. I stood on my tiptoes and strained to see what was causing this, but I could only see the crowd of my brothers and sisters. I closed my eyes and prayed. Suddenly, I was again surrounded by the smell of roses! This caught me quite by surprise as this time I had not prayed for a sign or even thought about it. I leaned in different directions toward some of the women around me to see if one of them was wearing perfume, but the beautiful odor was not coming from any of them. No one new had arrived. I was filled with gratitude and joy.

After the apparition, two of us waited by a stone wall as the people walked off the hillside. When the crowds had dispersed, we walked back up the hill and went to the Blue Cross. We began to pray the Rosary and found a seat on some rocks a short distance away. More people from our pilgrim group began to arrive and find seats and pray with us. I was amazed that more kept arriving until there were about a dozen of us. The next day was Election Day in America. Earlier, some of us had talked about spending the night on Krizevac, praying for our country and the election, but we had decided not to because we were to get an early start in the morning. I know that some prayed for a specific candidate (the same candidate that I voted for) but in my heart I prayed for the true pro life candidate to win, whoever that may be. I knew that God knew. I prayed for our country and I prayed for our world. I prayed for peace and I prayed for life.

Together we prayed on Apparition Hill. We prayed the most Holy Rosary. We prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. We prayed the Memorarae and the Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel. And then we sang: “Holy God we praise Thy name;” “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” It was truly beautiful and wonderful how we came together and prayed together on that hillside in the dark. It was grace.

November 2nd was the day of Mirjana’s monthly apparition. After an early breakfast, we went by bus to the Cenacolo community. We arrived before sunrise and were led into a large green tent. Miki showed us where to sit and cautioned us that if we got up to go to the bathroom we would lose our seats. It was many hours before Mirjana arrived and soon the tent was packed, and I could see many people crowded outside the open end of the tent. The hours waiting were not at all tedious; it was a wonderful time spent singing and praying!

Mirjana arrived and we began to pray the Rosary. I could not see Mirjana from where we were sitting, but when the praying stopped I knew Mirjana’s apparition had begun. We were in the presence of the Mother of God! I closed my eyes and prayed. Again I was given the grace to smell roses in Our Lady’s presence. God is good.

After the apparition, we stayed and listened to two young men from Cenacalo share how living in community had changed their lives. Then we again loaded onto busses and traveled to a nearby Franciscan Convent. It had been arranged for Father Ron to celebrate the Holy Mass in the chapel there. On the wall of the chapel there hung a crucifix that had been damaged during the war. The corpus had been broken. The Body of Christ had been broken.

The day came for us to leave. I couldn’t believe it. After breakfast, we were busy with last minute packing and loading our luggage onto the bus. We spent time posing for photographs with each other. As we loaded onto the bus, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I did not want to leave. As the bus pulled out of the village, I felt a tugging on my heart! Literally! It felt as if my heart were connected to this beautiful place, and as the bus rolled away, it felt as if my heart were being pulled from my chest!

Later, as our plane took off from the Sarajevo airport, I looked out the window, and there it was, the Miracle of the Sun.

EPILOGUE
On Krizevac, bronze art reliefs have been erected at the Stations of the Cross. I was particularly struck by the relief at the 15th Station of the Cross, the Resurrection. The artist has portrayed Jesus rising from the tomb in all His Glory. There are two guards in front of the tomb: one of the guards is overwhelmed by what he is witnessing, and the other is asleep, completely unaware of the miraculous event taking place right in front of him…

How many of us are sleeping, completely unaware of what is going on in the world around us? How many of us are so wrapped up in our own lives, in our own problems and pursuits and ambitions that we fail to see beyond the reach of our own little world? I judge no one, for I will be the first to admit that I am not everything I should be. But I look around me and I see a world that is not as it should be. I see a world where people lie and steal and kill each other. Men batter their wives, and parents abuse and neglect their children. We allow our children to play games that glorify violence, and then they bring guns to school and shoot each other and their teachers. Alcohol and drug abuse and sexual immorality are rampant. Parents kill their own unborn children!

What about those of us that society would call “good people”? Do we love each other as Jesus loved us? Are we laying down our lives for others? Let us examine our priorities. We live in a society that values personal fulfillment and success, achievement and creating wealth, beautiful bodies and entertainment and easy living. Is it right to want to build personal wealth when much of the world lives in poverty? We desire more luxurious homes and fancier cars while children in the world are starving. Our closets are overflowing with fancy wardrobes while there are people living in the streets. We spend small fortunes on our personal entertainment while our brothers and sisters in other countries are dying because they can’t afford basic medical care. Are we our brother’s keepers? Yes! Yes we are. And we are failing miserably.

Our society tells us these things of the world are important – wealth, personal acclaim, entertainment and physical beauty. These are the lies of the world. No matter how large a fortune one builds, it can be lost in a day. And you can’t take it with you. We place so much importance on personal achievement and what others think of us. All this effort and worry on being thought of as successful and important by others would be better spent giving of ourselves and caring for others. We should be more concerned about what the angels and saints and our Father in Heaven thinks of us. We put so much money and effort into looking young and attractive. No matter how much liposuction and cosmetic surgery or how many botox injections, we are going to get old. The time and money could be spent feeding the hungry and caring for the sick. A beautiful body? I would rather have a beautiful soul. All these things of the world are temporary, but our soul goes on to eternity.

I look around me and I see a world that is not supposed to be this way. I see a fallen world. I see a cross hanging on a wall, and the Body of Christ is broken. I see a world that needs God.

The Christian people in Bosnia-Herzegovina sing a song. Translated:
Our Lady, My Mother, Queen of Peace.
She’s my Mother. She’s your Mother.

When Jesus was hanging on the cross, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” And Jesus said to His disciple, “Behold, your mother.” Jesus was giving His mother, not only to his disciple, but to us all. He was giving His mother to the world.

The Blessed Virgin Mary was chosen to be the Mother of God. She was chosen to bring Jesus into the world. And Jesus honors His Mother by continuing to send her to the world. The Blessed Virgin continues to bring us to Jesus.

Every day for the past 23 years, Mary the Mother of God has been appearing in our world! Mary the Mother of God is appearing in our world! For 23 years, Our Mother has been telling us that God exists! Not some vague sense that there’s a higher purpose or some vague notion of something larger than ourselves, but an all powerful and eternal God! Our Creator! And He loves us! And He wants us to change! For 23 years, our Blessed Mother has been bringing us messages from our loving and merciful Father. Always, Our Lady greets us, “Dear Children,” and for 23 years, our loving and patient Mother has been telling her children that our God wants us to change. Blessed Mother asks us to pray and to fast, to go to church, to confess our sins, and to read the Bible. Our Lady tells us to, “Pray! Pray! Pray!” Our Lady tells us to put God in the first place.

I Darrell, a layman, called to service, called to be a disciple and modern day apostle, have written these words in all hope. I have written these words for I believe them to be the Truth. I have seen and experienced miraculous things. I was called to this. I did not choose, for I know my words may bring me trouble or ridicule, and it would be easier for me to remain silent. But I cannot remain silent for I want all to know the Truth. I praise God for choosing such an undeserving and weak and sinful man as myself. I acknowledge that any good I say or do is possible only by the Grace of God. To Him I give all the glory. I leave you with this knowledge: if we trust in the good God and turn to Him, no matter what happens, everything will be all right.

In the words of Our Blessed Mother, “Praised be Jesus!” May the Peace of our Lord Jesus be with you always.

Reference

Weible, W. (1989). Medjugorje: The Message. Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press